NASA Canasta


Senator #1: “Mr. Vizsla, are you sure we can’t get you some bottled water or a snack that’s not served in a dog food bowl?”
Dennis: “Well, since you’re offering …”

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Damage Control

dennis_daily_rag

Newspaper Clipping: “Furry Party Campaign In Disarray As Infighting Continues
By A. NEWSHOUND

The longshot fifth-party cam- paign of Dennis the Vizsla’s Furry Party was thrown into turmoil this week as Dennis’s long-time campaign manager Producer Smurf clashed with new adviser Vizzini the Sicilian and Vizzini’s cat. Meanwhile, Furry vice-presidential candidate Vermin, going off-message, claims that she and the candidate are being stalked by evil clowns.”

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Power Points

gargamel_powerpoint_1

Gargamel: “As you are aware, Dennis, the path to electoral success is narrow, and victory is nearly as unlikely as winning a land war in Asia.”
Dennis: “Oh for sure! Um, what does ‘electoral’ mean, exactly?”
Gargamel: “The mouse told me you might ask that. I’ve prepared this presentation to help explain the process to you.”
Producer Smurf: “You don’t smurf me with that ‘land war in Asia’ stuff, Gargamel! You’re just quoting Vizzini!”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce to Opossum): “You’ll protect me when his cat smurfs up, right, vice-president vermin?”
Opossum: “HISSS! Nasty smurf! Stop calling me ‘vermin’!  And get off my head!”

gargamel_powerpoint_2

Gargamel: “As you can see, the election begins with a hopeful idyll, in a mushroom village out in the woods. We call this the ‘New Hampshire Primary’.”
Producer Smurf: “Ahhhh! There’s the cat! Stoner dog! Bark at Azrael and smurf him away!”
Spicoli: “Dude. Wag more, bark less. Besides, I don’t see any cat.”
Opossum (thinking):  “HISSS! I swear this table is haunted. It always shows that man’s reflection.”

gargamel_powerpoint_3

Gargamel: “Next it moves on to a flat prairie with a backdrop of distant mountains. Yet the energy meeter remains high. We call this the ‘Iowa Caucus’.”
Producer Smurf: “Ahhhhhh! Now Azrael is smurfing under the table! Dog! Smurf something! Earn your campaign pay!”
Spicoli: “Dude, what is this campaign pay of which you speak? And I still don’t see a cat.”
Pennywise’s Reflection: “We all meet down here. That’s all we do. Meetings. Meetings. Mettings. Meetings. Meetings. Meetings.”

gargamel_powerpoint_4

Opossum: “HISSS! Nasty evil clown reflection! I don’t want to go to your meetings!”
Producer Smurf: “I’m telling you, Azrael is under the table and is smurfing over here to smurf me!”
Spicoli: “Dude, I’m not sure who sounds more paranoid, you or the opossum.”
Mouse: “The opossum.”
Gargamel: “But as the season progresses things start to become grim. The landscape darkens in the distance. Enemies appear.”

gargamel_powerpoint_5

Gargamel: “Soon it seems as if you are trapped in an interminable election dungeon, beset from all sides by smears and mud-slinging, wondering if it will ever end.”
Pennywise’s Reflection: “… and we meet and meet and meet and …”
Opossum: “Aaaaaiiiiieeee!”
Producer Smurf: “AHHHHH! You must see the cat now! He’s smurfing up your face!”
Spicoli: <snoring>

gargamel_powerpoint_6

Producer Smurf: “AHHH! Cat! Cat! Smurf away! Caaaattt!”
Opossum: “AHHH! Clown! Clown! Run away! Cloowwwnn!”
Gargamel: “Until finally you get to the end and, mmmm! Come to Gargamel, you delicious smurf! Um, I mean, there’s a giant skull and everyone dies. The end.”

gargamel_powerpoint_7

Mr. Nibbles: “Mr. Vizzini, it seems to me that your ‘presentation’ was just a play-through of a smurf video game.”
Gargamel: “Nonsense! Next, I will demonstrate how Dennis will have to deal with Congress after he has been elected …”
Mouse: “That went even better than I hoped it would.”
Spicoli: “Dude, where did you find these guys?”
Mouse: “Patches and his cat live in Humboldt County. They think it’s still 1983 so they work cheap.”
Spicoli: “And the evil clown?”
Mouse: “What evil clown?”

Smurfin’ Words

mouse_road_trip

Mouse: “Hello, Mouse from NIMH here! I ‘borrowed’ the Magic Flying Coaster for a little road trip to recruit a very special staff member for Dennis’s campaign, but wanted to share some promising news from Hemopet about the California sales tax issue. Thanks everyone for supporting them! And I’ll be seeing you in the last panel.”

From the Hemopet Newsletter:

70-5 Calif. Assembly Passes SB898

Fantastic news! Senate Bill 898 passed the Assembly! The current language of the bill still does not cancel prior tax assessments on non-profits for prior sales taxes of animal blood products. SB898 does exempt Hemopet from charging future sales taxes. It’s not the preferred language, but this is still excellent news. We are still working hard with all parties on the issue. The next step is that the bill goes back to the state Senate for concurrence. Then it goes to the Governor.

There is still time to write to Governor Brown on Hemopet’s behalf, please click here.

Your letters and emails are making a difference with the California legislators. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement! Honestly, you and your commitment to Hemopet give us the strength to keep up the good fight!

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the sunday awards and meem and art show — under noo manadjmint!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow we hav another big crop of awards this week!!! and becuz i missd an award last week wot wuz kindly givin to me by my gud frend ludwig van puppy dog i hav deesided that i need to bring in profeshunal help to assist me with the awards and meem show i hav herd that he runs the titest set in the awards and meem show bizness!!!

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