Tag: gary johnson

The World Stage

Russian Hacker: “Lord Putin, as you commanded, we have conducted a massive DDoS strike against the American internet, yet news of the dog’s faux paw continues to spread.” Vladimir Putin: “I want that dog in the White House. Stage an attack to generate sympathy… Continue Reading “The World Stage”

The Great Debate (Prep)

Producer Smurf: “All right, pretend candidates! I am now going to smurf you a selection of questions chosen from those smurfed by the public to the web site presidentialopenquestions.com. Is everybody ready?” Dennis: “Why does my mic say ‘Fisher-Price’ on it?” Paula: “I’ll take ‘Potpourri’ for $1000,… Continue Reading “The Great Debate (Prep)”

Are They Gone?

Dennis: “Are the reporters gone?” Mouse: “No. You’d better stay in there a while longer.  Like, until November 9th.”

Damage Control

Newspaper Clipping: “Furry Party Campaign In Disarray As Infighting Continues By A. NEWSHOUND The longshot fifth-party cam- paign of Dennis the Vizsla’s Furry Party was thrown into turmoil this week as Dennis’s long-time campaign manager Producer Smurf clashed with new adviser Vizzini the Sicilian… Continue Reading “Damage Control”

Strategery

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