Caturday Picture Show: The Results Are In

Randy: “Yo! Hello there, dawgs! We’re back with the results of audience voting from last week’s Caturday Picture Show!”
Charlee: “Why does he keep calling us dogs when some of us are clearly cats?”
Vermin: “HISS! Why do you keep calling me ‘Vermin’ when my name is Jill and I’m clearly mostly beneficial?”
Simon: “We decided to present the winning entry via teleconference to avoid any more issues with giant mealworms and such.”
Paula: “I’m still having nightmares about that thing!”

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Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!

Lulu: “Hello friendlies! Lulu here! We are pre-empting the Caturday Matinee this week to present the Paper Bob Holiday 2020 Coloring Contest!”
Chaplin: “Who’s Paper Bob? Is he like Flat Stanley?”
Charlee: “I hope not. The last time Flat Stanley showed up, he stole a car and took Dennis on a car chase all around Southern California.
Lulu: “I don’t think Paper Bob is anything like Flat Stanley. See, Mama and Dada bought some flour and stuff mail order from Bob’s Red Mill and there was a coloring contest included in the package. I got hold of it and I thought it would be fun for us animals to do something with Paper Bob.”
Chaplin: “You mean like eat him?”
Lulu: “Uh, no. Well, maybe we can do that later. But first I thought we could have our own contest where we all make a little picture with Paper Bob, and then we let the judges review them.”
Charlee: “What judges?”
Lulu: “Oh I found some names in Dennis’s old Rolodex. Okay, I’ll start.”

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Observed Around the Plateau

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos: “Behind me you can see the latest discovery here on the Nazca plateau: A giant drawing of a cat.”

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Where in the World are Charlee and Chaplin?

Lulu: “Have you seen the Hipsters? We were watching television and they disappeared on me.”
Mouse: “Not lately, but they’re cats. They could be anywhere. Did you look on top of the fireplace?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the cat tree?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “Under the armoire?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the litter box?”
Lulu: “Why, what have you heard?”

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My Cup Runneth Empty

Charlee: “We were just kidding about the stink. You smell terrific.”
Skunk: “Yeah? What terrific thing do I smell like?”
Spicoli: “Patchouli. Or maybe pizza. Or maybe pizza with patchouli on top.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Like freshly roasted ticks!”
Lulu: “Like something I found in the yard that I want to roll in.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Like a fresh load of wood chips in the bottom of a guinea pig pen.”
Mouse: “Like cheese. But not the stinky kind.”
Producer Smurf: “Like Papa Smurf’s beard!”
Chaplin: “Like the inside of an ice cream cup that’s been on somebody’s head for a while.”
Skunk: “You are such a bunch of liars.”

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Live Free and Snack Hard

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Chaplin: “Thank you for the elevenses, Mr. Baggins. It was delicious.”
Bilbo Baggins: “You’re welcome! Are you sure you got enough to eat? There’s still plenty of food left.”
Chaplin: “I know, but it’s mostly fruit. That stuff will kill you.”

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SnackQuest II: Snack Harder

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Chaplin: “What do you mean you don’t have any snacks to spare? There’s a giant pile of them on the glider right next to you.”
Spicoli: “That’s just my morning supply, dude. They’ll be gone by like 10am.”

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The Quorum Forum

Lulu: “All right, now that we have a quorum, let’s hear arguments for and against, then take a vote to decide if we want to try to get this economic assistance from Facebook so that we can buy new balloons for the turtle.”
Vermin: “HISSS! ‘Quorum’? Since when do we use fancy Latin words around here?”
Mouse: “Vote? You want us to vote? Has this become a democracy instead of you or the cats just going off and doing something crazy?”
Charlee: “I’ve never gone off and done something crazy. I’m the cautious one.”
Chaplin: “I’m contemplating doing something crazy right this second.”
Spicoli: “Yeah, dude, we can tell from your crazy eyes.”

Chaplin: “Look at me! I’m on television!”
Spicoli: “You’re on the television, dude. Not the same thing.”
Lulu: “Let’s all try to settle down and focus. Now, does anyone have any opinions on why we should try to get money from Facebook?”

Lulu: “Isn’t anybody going to say anything?”
Mysterious Intruder: “Facebook is totally trustworthy and you should definitely give them all your information about everything.”
Chaplin: “Get out of my recessed lighting hiding place, Zuckerberg.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Wow, Facebook really does track you everywhere.”
Spicoli: “Now I see two sets of crazy eyes.”

It’s The Sunday Awards And Meme Show Skipping A Meeting Edition!

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Lulu: “Thanks for coming to this meeting. So the reason I called you here is to
discuss this thing from Facebook about economic relief for The Oceanside Animals. I don’t know how much money Facebook wants to give us, but I figure it must be enough to buy some new balloons for our friend the turtle. Now, knowing Facebook, in order to get the money we’ll probably have to answer some stupid quiz to figure out what kind of coffee bean we would be, but that’s … Hey, wait, where are Charlee and Chaplin?”

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