CSI: The Denouement

Horatio Caine: “… And so, after interviewing everyone here, I’ve been unable to find a viable suspect in the case of the mysterious pile of feathers. Most likely the crime was perpetrated by an outside agent, like a hawk or a jabberwock or a vicious knid. Any questions?”
Spicoli: “I have a question, dude. Where’d you get those shades? You never did tell me.”
Charlee: “How many kinds of knids are there? Are they all vicious or only some of them?”
Horation Cane: “Any questions about the case?
Spicoli: “No.”
Charlee: “No.”

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CSI: Avoiding A Bath

Producer Smurf: “Lulu! Smurf out from behind the glider! Everysmurf’s smurfing in the smurf room to smurf the conclusion of the smurfvestigation! And more importantly, to smurf my smurfumentary about it!”
Lulu: “How did you know I was hiding back here?”
Producer Smurf: “I can smurf the big green cloud of flamingo stink!”

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The First 48

Horatio Caine: “So this is where you discovered the pile of feathers?”
Lulu: “Yes, it was right over there.”
Producer Smurf: “Cut! Lulu, can you try to smurf a little more dramatically? Maybe try to smurf how traumatized you were when you found the crime scene?”
Lulu: “I wasn’t traumatized. I was just curious.”
Producer Smurf: “Not traumatized? What are you, some kind of smurfopath?”

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Outside Investigations

Lulu: “All right, if everyone is through arguing and pointing paws at each other, I need to put together a team to investigate who ate the bird, stipulating that it wasn’t me or one of the cats.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Letting yourself and the nasty cats off the hook up front? I smell a coverup!”

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Whorunit Whodunit?

Lulu: “I found this pile of feathers in the yard. No sign of the bird it came from.”
Vermin: “HISSS! That’s why you dragged us into a meeting? Because of some stupid feathers?”

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Under The Bridge Downtown

Charlee: “You’re not seriously going to go talk to that troll, are you?”
Lulu: “Sure, why wouldn’t I?”
Charlee: “Well for one thing its arms are like ten feet long and they end in giant hands with great big claws.”
Chaplin: “Pfft. Going around with its claws out all the time? Can’t even retract them? What an amateur?”
Lulu: “Ooh, yeah, you’re right. I bet it gives excellent belly rubs.”
Spicoli: “There’s got to be some kind of happy medium between Dennis-style scaredy-catness and whackadoo bravado …”
Troll: “I would like to purchase your green bin.”

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Taking A Cut

Lulu: “So you say you’re driving for this new service?”
Spicoli: “Uh-huh. Those Doritos aren’t going to pay for themselves, dude.”
Chaplin: “Do you think we could drive for it too?”
Spicoli: “Well, I don’t know. You might have a little trouble getting your Magic Flying Coaster approved as a delivery vehicle.”
Chaplin: “‘Approved’? You mean the company will tell us what we can drive and what we have to do?”
Spicoli: “Well, yeah, dude, that’s how these things work. They supply the products and take a percentage of what you make.”

Spicoli: “Well, gotta go! Busy schedule! Later, dudes!”

Later …

Chaplin: “I still think we should get in on this delivery thing. Then we can buy snacks too.”
Charlee: “Maybe, but I don’t like the idea of being told what we have to drive and what we have to do and giving up a percentage. We should just do it on our own.”
Chaplin: “That sounds all right, but how will we get the products?”
Lulu: “Oh you guys can leave that to me. I know just where to go.”

Momentarily …

Charlee: “What’s this thing?”
Lulu: “It’s called a ‘green waste container’. Dada dumps grass in it all the time. I guess he has no idea he’s just been throwing money away.”

Odd Jobs

Mr. Nibbles: “Sending Blue to get the mail again? Last time, wasn’t it just a bunch of bills?”
Chaplin: “Yes, but we’re still hoping there’ll be something good one of these days.”
Charlee: “Yeah like maybe one of those foreign bankers will finally send that money they promised to Dennis.”

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Let’s Vote On It

Mouse: “All right, so the reason I called this lunch meeting is to discuss what to do about this Blue character.”
Chaplin: “What do you mean?”
Spicoli: “What am I supposed to do with timothy hay?”

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Silly Details

Mouse: “So you’re trying to tell me that this is your Dada’s car?”
Lulu: “Uh-huh.”
Blue: “So you crows, you fly around this area a lot, yeah?”
Crow: “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”

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