Time And Restaurant Dimensions In Space

Lulu: “I thought you said we wouldn’t get kicked out of restaurants if we wore yellow hats.”
Alternate Spicoli: “I did say that, guv! But I didn’t say we wouldn’t get kicked out if your cat climbed on the decor.”
Java Bean: “This table looks like a giant marrow bone …”

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No Respect For Gravity

Alternate Spicoli: “Right, fully accessorized and ready to go! Pip pip!”
Lulu: “So … Dogs can eat in a fancy restaurant here as long as they’re wearing shockingly yellow hats?”
Alternate Spicoli: “You’re quick, guv! Hats really confuse the humans. Come on, I’ve got enough for everyone!”
Chaplin: “Boy, Alternate Dennis must’ve had a field day here with his fedora, then.”

Later …

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Well Hello Mr. Fancypants

Alternate Charlee: “Why are you extra dogs and extra Chaplin still here? Shouldn’t you get back in your Hog House of Just Us and leave now that you know there’s no bacon here?”
Chaplin: “Do we know there’s no bacon, though? Nobody ever said for sure.”
Lulu: “It’s the ‘Doghouse of Justice’ not the ‘Hog House of Just Us’.”
Java Bean: “I kind of like Alternate Charlee’s name for it. ¡La casa de cerdos de solo nosotros!”
Lulu: “Okay, that does sound like a pretty fancy restaurant, but it’s way too long to say it all the time.”
Alternate Chaplin: “Mama always says I am a handsome kitty but now that I’ve seen myself I think ‘handsome’ is an understatement.”
Alternate Java Bean: “Come on, Lulu, let’s see if Alternate Lulu and Alternate Bean want to chase us around the yard.”
Alternate Lulu: “Are they the alternates or are we the alternates?”

Alternate Spicoli: “Cheerio! Did someone say ‘fancy restaurant’? Are we all going out to dinner to celebrate meeting alternate selves? I know just the place!”
Alternate Charlee: “I’m not celebrating anything. Two Chaplins just means twice as many cats trying to annoy me into getting off my spot on top of the fireplace.”
Alternate Chaplin: “You do that too, huh?”
Chaplin: “Some things are constant across dimensions.”

Lulu: “I mean, dinner sounds good, but they don’t allow dogs in fancy restaurants.”
Alternate Spicoli: “Crikey! Is that the rule in your dimension? No wonder you left! It’s permitted here, you just need the proper accessories! Hang about and I’ll fetch you some!”

Java Bean: “I can’t figure out if your version of Spicoli is British or Australian or what.”
Alternate Charlee: “Neither can we.”

Extraordinary Claims …

Mouse: “All right, so, you claim that you three versions of Lulu, Chaplin, and Bean are from an alternate dimension?”
Lulu: “That’s correct.”

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Lulu’s Legal Tips: How to Object

Hello friendlies! Lulu here, with a new irregular feature, Lulu’s Legal Tips! My first one is going to be about How to Object! Now you may be asking, Lulu, why are you starting right in with how to object, instead of when and why to object? That’s an easy one; when and why to object are essentially the same thing: Because you don’t feel like answering a question somebody asked you.

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When The Birthday Dog’s Away

Dada’s Note: According to Bean’s paperwork from the shelter, his birthday is August 10th, 2021, making him one year old today! Since he is of course off exploring the Multiverse with Lulu and Chaplin, his party has been unavoidably delayed …

Mr. Nibbles: “Aren’t you tired of sitting in that box yet, Charlee?”
Charlee: “I don’t even understand what that means.”
Blue: “I object to the portrayal of dinosaurs on that birthday banner.”
Mouse: “But not the ones in the ‘Jurassic Park’ movies?”
Blue: “I get residuals for those.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do we have to wait for Bean before we have cake?”
Spicoli: “Because it’s Bean’s birthday, dude. Plus the baker’s not finished making it.”
Producer Smurf: “Greedy Smurf! How much longer until the cake is ready?”
Greedy Smurf: “I have to start over! I smurfed a sample taste and ended up smurfing the whole thing!”

Happy first birthday to the Bean!

Bats in the Boardroom

Java Bean: “Are you here to help us look into the fraud allegations against Producer Smurf, Señor Batman?”
Batman (fake whispering): “Financial crimes aren’t really my area. I’m here to offer costume advice.”
Lulu: “Your suit does look a little, uh, different from the last time we saw you.”

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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Special Guest Riley’s Results!

Producer Smurf: “All right, well, while we’re waiting for the fire department to smurf up, let’s see if we can’t smurf Riley’s results!”
Chia: “You guys see that gopher over there, right?”
Xena: “Yes.”
Chia: “Are we gonna get him?”
Xena: “No.”
Chia: “Why not?”
Xena: “Because he might have another bomb.”
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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Riley Edition

Mouse: “Decided to stop ‘flying’ around stage, did you?”
Java Bean: “Well you know, hovering takes a lot of energy.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, now that we’ve no longer got dogs smurfing around the stage on a string, it’s time to smurf our contestants’ guesses! Vermin, what breeds do you smurf went into Riley?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Scam! This whole show is a scam! There aren’t any prizes and I don’t think you really have any judges! So I refuse to make any more guesses until I see a prize, a judge, or both!”
Producer Smurf: “Sorry, our judges have smurfed that refusing to guess is a disqualifier. No prizes for you.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Because you don’t have any prizes!”
Charlee: “Game show contestants sure are unruly these days.”
Spicoli: “Could be worse, dude, we could be in an airport.”

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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Round 3

Producer Smurf: “Welcome back! It’s the third and final round of ‘What Went Into That Dog’, featuring our smurfy special guest Riley!”
Riley: “Hi everybody!”

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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Java Bean’s Results!

Norman #1: “Are you a ninja?”
Norman #2: “Look, I have a katana too!”
Norman #1: “Have you ever considered living underground?”
The Bride: “You weird little guinea pigs are messing up my cake frosting with your spines.”
Spicoli: “Dude, she thinks the ninja hedgehogs are guinea pigs.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I’m not going to correct her, friend Spicoli. Are you?”
Spicoli: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, all right, let’s try to smurf through the chaos and get to Java Bean’s breed results!”
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