Have Thumbs, Will Travel

Spicoli: “So, uh, where are you dudes off to in your Dada’s car?”
Blue: “Don’t ask me, I’m just the driver.”
Charlee: “We’re going to the pet store!”
Lulu: “I’m going to the dog park!”

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Put This Thumb To The Test

Mouse: “All right, the first test of your thumb functionality will be opening this can of dog food.”
Lulu: “Come on, Blue! You can do it!”
Producer Smurf: “I smurf thumbs too, you know, and no one is smurfing all over me about it.”
Spicoli: “No you don’t, dude. You have four fingers that all look the same. Besides, you never let go of your megaphone or your little book.”

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Game Change

Lulu: “So I take it the guys in the suits are in this cabinet?”
Blue: “Yes they are. Say, are those cupcakes?”
Charlee: “You really like stalking people around kitchens, don’t you?”
Blue: “Well, you know, if something makes you famous, you stick with it.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why is that nasty Blue still here? She’s obnoxious, she has too many teeth, all she ever does is talk about food, and she’s not even really a bird!”

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I Heard It On The SmurfChain

Mouse: “All right, Producer Smurf, you called this meeting so you have the floor.”
Producer Smurf: “Smurfy! I’m going to smurf the floor to Blockchain Smurf.”

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My Birdyguard

Lulu: “So phase one of your plan is to stack the toupees in a little pyramid?”
Mouse: “Well, that’s just to get them out of Spicoli’s van, since he apparently has urgent business to attend to.”
Spicoli: “That’s right, dude. Time is money, and money is Doritos, therefore time is Doritos.”
Chaplin: “Since when does a lizard hire a giant bird as a bodyguard?”
Lizard: “Since I made a fortune in SmurfCoin, that’s when! Go on, Blue, beat up this mean cat for me!”
Blue: “Okay, but first I’m going to need you to smurf another 0.00230123 SmurfCoin to my SmurfCoin wallet.”
Lizard: “*SIGH* Fine. Cat, can you wait around for the transfer to finish so that Blue over there can beat you up afterwards?”
Chaplin: “Uh, sure, I guess.”

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D-Mobile

Lulu: “I didn’t know you had an RV. How come we never take it on vacation?”
Mouse: “It’s not an RV, it’s a mobile lab. I borrowed it from my contacts in the government.”
Charlee: “You have contacts in the government?”
Mouse: “Of course. I’m from NIMH, remember?”
Lizard: “Help! Help!”

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Observed Around the Board Room

Mouse: “First, I’d like to thank everyone for coming to this in-service …”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you thanking us? The memo you smurfed out smurfed attendance was mandatory.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do I have to be at this stupid meeting? I was barely involved in all this nonsense!”

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Lulu’s Life Tips: Managing Your Coworkers, Part 2

Hello friendlies! Lulu here with part two of my three part series on managing your coworkers! Now, as you may recall, last week I showed you how to get a slacking-off coworker to get up from their desk and play with you. You may also recall that I ran into a little snag where another coworker (also known as Mama) had set up a tripod and camera in the Designated Play Area A with the intention of using it for a video call. Technically this was my fault for failing to check the play area reservation calendar, which would have shown that time had been blocked out for the space to be used for a teleconference. In this sort of situation you have to be adaptable, and so it was off to Designated Play Area B.

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Big Latin

Lulu: “It doesn’t look like that guy you hired did a very good job erasing the graffiti.”
Chaplin: “It’s so hard to find good help these days.”
Spicoli: “Maybe that’s because you hired somebody who ran away from the circus, dude.”
Batman: “It’s one of the Riddler’s riddles! Ed, you evil genius!”
Mouse: “Ed didn’t write this. That clown did.”
Batman: “What clown?”
Mouse: “The clown hiding behind that equipment over there.”
Joker: “Tee-hee!”

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The Mystery of the Missing Snacks

Lulu: “All right, so it sounds like the next thing we need to do is find Chaplin and the Riddler.”
Batman: “Excellent plan, Dog Wonder! So who is this ‘Chaplin’? Is he a villain with a little mustache and a bowler hat?”
Spicoli: “Close, dude. He’s a cat with a soul patch.”
Batman: “A cat with a soul patch? Diabolical! How will we ever track down such a fiend?”
Charlee: “I’ll just wave this flirt pole around a little.”

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Snackvestigators

Producer Smurf: “Spicoli, why do you still smurf your sunglasses when you’re sleeping?”
Spicoli: “I think you mean trying to sleep, dude. And I wear them because it’s so bright here.”
Producer Smurf: “But why don’t you go smurf somewhere that’s not so bright?”
Spicoli: “Because then it would be too dark to see with my sunglasses on.”
Producer Smurf: “Oh, of course.”

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Well That Clears Things Up

Chaplin: “So you’re saying I have to watch this entire movie and it will give me the answer to whether it’s ‘Batman’ or ‘The Batman’?”
Ed Nygma: “Correct.”
Chaplin: “What was the point of my showing you all around the house and revealing our secret lair in the basement?”
Ed Nygma: “To make sure you had room to store all the snacks we’ll need to make it through the film.”
Spicoli: “Did I hear someone say ‘snacks’?”

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