Bilbo Baggins: “Hello, Spicoli. What can I do for you today?”
Spicoli: “Hey dude! This is my friend Chaplin. He’s on a quest for snacks.”
Chaplin: “Aren’t you a little big for a gopher?”
Continue reading “Snack Quest with a Vengeance”
Tag: gollum
Deus Ex Cattina
Gollum: “Well now that we has collected our new Ray-Bans from the tricksy stoner dog, we thinks it’s time to has our snacky-snack mousie. Gollum!”
Dennis: “How many pairs of sunglasses do you carry around with you, Spicoli?”
Spicoli: “Oh, a dozen or so.”
Mouse: “Nice going, hipsters. Because of you, that freak thinks he gets to eat me.”
Charlee: “He totally cheated.”
Mouse: “Of course he did! How could you be naive enough to think he wouldn’t?”
Chaplin: “Well, we are just kittens …”
Mouse: “Trouble would never have let a pseudo-hipster get the better of her like this.”
Chaplin: “Trouble? Who is Trouble?”
Continue reading “Deus Ex Cattina”
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Gollumic Pentameter
Smeagol: “I, Smeagol, declare that this poetry slam is on. Your first poem must be in Gollumic pentameter.”
Charlee: “Gollumic pentameter?”
Chaplin: “I don’t think that’s even a thing.”
Smeagol: “It might not be a thing on the surface, but it’s all the rage at Club Smeagol.”
Spicoli: “Why does the weird dude get to decide what kind of poem they do?”
Dennis: “I guess on account of we said he could be the judge.”
Mouse: “What have you hipsters gotten us into?!”
Continue reading “Gollumic Pentameter”
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Join the Club
Gollum: “We thoughts we would have our poetry slam here in Club Smeagol instead of out in the nasty wet cold part of the cave. Gollum!”
Charlee: “Are you kidding with this? You’re kidding right?”
Chaplin: “Could we visit the buffet before the poetry slam starts?”
Charlee: “Chaplin!”
Chaplin: “Sorry, Charlee. But you know how food motivated I am.”
Spicoli: “Dude, what kind of library has a shady nightclub and buffet in a cave in the basement?”
Dennis: “The kind of library where Tucker probably had a card.”
Spicoli: “Fair enough.”
Continue reading “Join the Club”
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Overheard Around The Cave
Gollum: “We has to gets ready for this poetry slam. Gollum! We will be back soon and then we can starts. Gollum!”
Spicoli: “Knock yourself out, dude.”
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Tricksy Tricksy
Gollum: “We sees you nasty dogses has found our poetic license. Gollum!”
Dennis: “Well, I found a poetic license, yes …”
Vermin: “HISSS! That’s right! They are nasty dogses! You tell them, frog thing!”
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Unfriendly Neighborhood Spiders, Man
Dennis: “Look, Spicoli! A poetic license! It was on the floor under the card catalog!”
Spicoli: “Wow, dude, you actually found one?”
Dennis: “Of course! I am a retrieving dog, you know.”
Mouse: “Can we go now? I have the feeling I’m being watched. And not just by Charlee.”
Charlee: “Mouse mouse.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Hey nasty dogs! The library is closing!”
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Dennis-Quest
The Adventure of the Suspect Photographs
Hello, good readers. This is Tucker the Vizsla. Recently some strange and disturbing digital pictures have surfaced here, published by my so-called “brother” Dennis the Other Vizsla, along with scurrilous commentary and wildly unfounded accusations. Do Dennis’s charges stand up to scrutiny, or are they just more of his usual crazed ramblings? Let’s investigate. Come, Trixie — the game’s afoot!
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the investigayshun continyooz
hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay as yoo may rekall a wile bak i discoverd evidense that dada consorts with hedjhogs and sinse then i hav ben attempting to confirm or disproov this connekshun so far i hav not fownd anything conkloosiv eether way however i did discuver this on the shelf in the corner of the compyooter rum:
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