Tag: grass

Under The Bridge Downtown

Charlee: “You’re not seriously going to go talk to that troll, are you?”
Lulu: “Sure, why wouldn’t I?”
Charlee: “Well for one thing its arms are like ten feet long and they end in giant hands with great big claws.”
Chaplin: “Pfft. Going around with its claws out all the time? Can’t even retract them? What an amateur?”
Lulu: “Ooh, yeah, you’re right. I bet it gives excellent belly rubs.”
Spicoli: “There’s got to be some kind of happy medium between Dennis-style scaredy-catness and whackadoo bravado …”
Troll: “I would like to purchase your green bin.”

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Taking A Cut

Lulu: “So you say you’re driving for this new service?”
Spicoli: “Uh-huh. Those Doritos aren’t going to pay for themselves, dude.”
Chaplin: “Do you think we could drive for it too?”
Spicoli: “Well, I don’t know. You might have a little trouble getting your Magic Flying Coaster approved as a delivery vehicle.”
Chaplin: “‘Approved’? You mean the company will tell us what we can drive and what we have to do?”
Spicoli: “Well, yeah, dude, that’s how these things work. They supply the products and take a percentage of what you make.”

Spicoli: “Well, gotta go! Busy schedule! Later, dudes!”

Later …

Chaplin: “I still think we should get in on this delivery thing. Then we can buy snacks too.”
Charlee: “Maybe, but I don’t like the idea of being told what we have to drive and what we have to do and giving up a percentage. We should just do it on our own.”
Chaplin: “That sounds all right, but how will we get the products?”
Lulu: “Oh you guys can leave that to me. I know just where to go.”

Momentarily …

Charlee: “What’s this thing?”
Lulu: “It’s called a ‘green waste container’. Dada dumps grass in it all the time. I guess he has no idea he’s just been throwing money away.”

To The Arbor

Hello good readers. This is Tucker the Much Better Vizsla than Dennis. Lately there has been a lot of talk about my health problems, but I do still have my good days. This was one of them. It started when Mama and Dada were going to the garden center to buy some trees. I wanted to go with them and help pick plants.

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My keen senses tell me that this door leads outside.

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Red Mutant Cow Filmed

Agriculture officials downplayed the significance of an amateur video that surfaced today of the elusive “Red Mutant Cow” that has been spotted several times grazing on a small patch of rye and barley growing in a local backyard. A spokesman who had seen the video said it was “clearly faked” and called it “a low-quality YouTube reject”, but was at a loss to explain what the animal might actually be. A source within the investigation, who did not wish to speak on the record, said: “I don’t know what it is, but it’s not a cow. Would you want to milk that thing?” This official cautioned against approaching or disturbing strange animals. “I don’t care how cute or docile they look,” he said. “You never know what these creatures might do if you bother them while they’re eating. I’ve heard stories about people being licked to within an inch of their lives.”

For an exclusive look at this shocking footage, click below. Parental guidance is suggested.

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