Garden Pests of California

Spicoli: “Hey, dude. Trying out a new look?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty dog! When the sprinklers in that field came on, they softened up the pomade so I could escape, but then it hardened up again and gave me a pompadour. What are you all doing out here?”
Spicoli: “Something’s been eating the tomatoes before they’re harvested, so we’re setting up a secret surveillance camera to see what it is.”
Mr. Nibbles: “The angle looks good, friend mouse. Let’s take a picture and make sure everything is working.”

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Lo Pan And Shut Case

Bugs Bunny: “I’m pretty  impressed that you managed to wriggle out of that tiny tunnel opening, Doc. How’d you do it?”
Jack Burton: “Nothing to it. I just greased it up with pomade and slipped right out.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I seem to be stuck in the tunnel entrance.”
Jack Burton: “Of course, once the pomade sets up, it’s like cement.”
Lo Pan: “Now, while their backs are turned, I will destroy them!”

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Lo Pan Range


Bugs Bunny: “So you say you got set up by this Lo Pan, eh? I don’t know that guy. I usually have to put up with jokers like Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam. Is this Lo Pan like either of those maroons?”
Dennis: “Yep, he’s exactly like them. Except taller. And with magical powers. And a criminal empire. And, uh, legitimately dangerous.”
Producer Smurf: “I think what Dennis is smurfing to smurf is that Lo Pan smurfs nothing like those smurfs.”
Bugs Bunny: “Yeah, no kidding, Doc! He sounds more like yours truly!”
Spicoli: “The worst part of this whole thing was watching Lo Pan eat all our pork chops after we got arrested.”
Jack Burton: “You mean my pork chops.”
Spicoli: “Dude. Not the time to nitpick.”

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The Pork Chop Express

Mr. Nibbles: “All right, so I think we’ve arrived at a solution that everyone can live with. First, Lo Pan will go stand by the cat tree so the Hipsters can jump from his head to the tree without any loss of altitude.”
Charlee: “Agreed.”

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Lo Panning Negotiations

Mr. Nibbles: “Thanks for asking me to handle these negotiations. Let’s start by setting expectations. Lo Pan, what would you like to get out of these discussions?”
Lo Pan: “I would like to get these cats off my head.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Well, that’s something we can―”
Lo Pan: “Also to marry a girl with green eyes.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I don’t think we can provide match making services―”
Lo Pan: “And to have my revenge on Jack Burton and Dennis the Vizsla! Hee hee hee!”
Mr. Nibbles: “I’m pretty sure Dennis isn’t going to agree to that last one. Also, who’s Jack Burton?”
Jack Burton: “Jack Burton. Me.”
Dennis: “Hey, Jack. Long time no see.
Jack Burton: “‘Sup, Dennis.”

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happy maybe probly twelfth birthday to me!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay gess wot tooday is??? tooday is my maybe probly twelfth birthday!!!

dennis_12_1

Vermin: “You say it’s your birthday! It’s my birthday too! So give me your cake!”
Dennis: “Do I have to?”
Spicoli: “I don’t think that’s how the song goes, dude.”

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