Lo Panning Negotiations

Mr. Nibbles: “Thanks for asking me to handle these negotiations. Let’s start by setting expectations. Lo Pan, what would you like to get out of these discussions?”
Lo Pan: “I would like to get these cats off my head.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Well, that’s something we can―”
Lo Pan: “Also to marry a girl with green eyes.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I don’t think we can provide match making services―”
Lo Pan: “And to have my revenge on Jack Burton and Dennis the Vizsla! Hee hee hee!”
Mr. Nibbles: “I’m pretty sure Dennis isn’t going to agree to that last one. Also, who’s Jack Burton?”
Jack Burton: “Jack Burton. Me.”
Dennis: “Hey, Jack. Long time no see.
Jack Burton: “‘Sup, Dennis.”

Continue reading

Still More Trouble In Little China

Having fought our way free of the Three Storms, Jack Burton and I now face Lo Pan himself.  Can we prevail against this 2,000 year old evil sorcerer and his intimidating hat?  If not, it won’t be because we didn’t try!

Continue reading

Everybody Wing Kong Tonight

While Lo Pan’s minions pillage Little China, I am losing valuable time trying to restore Jack Burton’s confidence with another “magic” potion. He has already rejected the magical powers of Yoohoo, but fortunately, I have a few more options under my hat. Surely one of them will do the trick … but unfortunately, when in nerd form, Jack is very fussy.

Continue reading

Even Bigger Trouble In Little China

Having received a magic potion from the ancient magician Egg Shen, we are preparing to seek out Lo Pan and end his reign of terror.  In addition to the potion, Egg Shen also offers to supply us with a frightening array of weaponry.  Surely when confronted with such an arsenal, Lo Pan will surrender without a fight!

Continue reading

Big Trouble For Little Vizsla

Having performed beyond expectations in my investigation of that creepy kid who claimed to see dead people, I have impressed Dr. Crowe enough to get another assignment. This one is more in my area of expertise, an anthropological study of clan rivalries in a community of largely Asian immigrants; or, as Dr. Crowe indelicately puts it, big trouble in Little China.

Continue reading