Yoots These Days

Vinny Gambini: “So you’re saying you’ve got two yoots squatting in some boxes that you own?”
Lulu: “Yes, that’s right. Well, assuming ‘yoot’ is another word for ‘cat’.”
Spicoli: “ZzzzZZzzz …”

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Squatters’ Rights

Scrooge: “So you say you have a problem with squatters?”
Lulu: “Yes, that’s right.”
Scrooge: “Have you tried barking at them?”
Lulu: “Well I can’t really bark at them. They do live in the house with me.”
Spicoli: “Dude, I just noticed that none of these books are law books.”

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CSI: The Mealworm Vats

Ninja Hedgehog: “Hey, Vermin, somebody’s here to see you. But keep stirring the mealworm vat.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I told you, my name is Jill! If you keep calling me Vermin, I’m reporting you to Animal Resources!”

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Lulu’s Life Tips: You Don’t Need To Answer Questions

Hello friendlies! Lulu here, with another life tip! This time, it’s about answering questions. Or, more accurately, accusations disguised as questions. And the tip is: You don’t have to do it. Sometimes you can just wait and the situation will resolve itself without your having to admit or deny anything. This is sometimes called “pulling the Fifth”. Here’s an example:

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Lulu’s Life Tips: Play Like No One Is Watching (Even Though Somebody Probably Is)

Hello friendlies! Lulu here! You may have heard the expression “Dance like no one is watching”, and you may even have seen the associated merchandise, for instance:

I’m here to tell you that this is good advice, and it doesnt just apply to dancing, it also applies to playing!

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The Last Will and Testament of Dennis the Vizsla Dog

Scrooge: “I’ve read several ridiculous last wills and testaments for you creatures over the years, but this one really puts the butter on the crumpet. Bah humbug.”
Mouse: “How so?”
Chaplin: “Did you hear that? We’re getting buttered crumpets.”
Charlee: “I don’t think that’s what he said.”

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Overheard Around Roadside America


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Lockup: Hound

Welcome to today’s episode of Lockup: Hound, the show that takes you inside the unseen world of dog convicts.  Today, we take our cameras to California, where the notorious pillow and stuffie killer Dennis the Vizsla sits in solitary confinement, awaiting his parole.

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