Norman #3: “That’s the most ridiculous superhero outfit I’ve ever seen.”
Norman #2: “Well, now, remember that time Batman’s GPS went wonky and he showed up in our cave and he was wearing that suit with the nipples on it?”
Java Bean: “So, ninja hedgehogs! I bet you didn’t expect to run into a brand new crime-fighting duo today!”
Norman #4: “Which one of you is Supermutt and which one is Exotic Lulu?”
Norman #1: “Nice job phrasing your answer in the form of a question, Norman!”
Producer Smurf (on phone): “Yeah, no, I didn’t smurf away any of the prizes … I just kept smurfing stuff up about judges’ rulings and whatnot and everyone smurfed it. Pretty smurfy, right? Anyway I’ll smurf the stuff to the village and we can make a bundle smurfing it to those shirtless rubes.”
Continue reading “Overheard Around The House”
Norman #1: “Look, Norman, the door is closed.”
Norman #2: “How do we usually get in for raiding when the door is closed?”
Norman #4: “I think we use ninja trickery, skills, and subterfuge.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “All right, Normans! Norman here reports that there are unawarded game show prizes to be had at the house where the crazy dogs live. You know what that means!”
Norman #1: “RAID!”
Norman #2: “RAID!”
Norman #3: “RAID!”
Norman #4: “What is a raid?”
Mouse: “Decided to stop ‘flying’ around stage, did you?”
Java Bean: “Well you know, hovering takes a lot of energy.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, now that we’ve no longer got dogs smurfing around the stage on a string, it’s time to smurf our contestants’ guesses! Vermin, what breeds do you smurf went into Riley?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Scam! This whole show is a scam! There aren’t any prizes and I don’t think you really have any judges! So I refuse to make any more guesses until I see a prize, a judge, or both!”
Producer Smurf: “Sorry, our judges have smurfed that refusing to guess is a disqualifier. No prizes for you.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Because you don’t have any prizes!”
Charlee: “Game show contestants sure are unruly these days.”
Spicoli: “Could be worse, dude, we could be in an airport.”
Producer Smurf: “Welcome back! It’s the third and final round of ‘What Went Into That Dog’, featuring our smurfy special guest Riley!”
Riley: “Hi everybody!”
Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s try to smurf ourselves together long enough to smurf some guesses as to what Bean’s genetic makeup is. First, let’s smurf from Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog!”
Producer Smurf: “You smurfed the same guess for Lulu. Are you sure you don’t want to smurf a little more specific this time?”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog with asymmetrical ears!”
Producer Smurf: “The judges are smurfing me that ‘nasty with asymmetrical ears’ isn’t a breed, but they’ll allow it.”
Java Bean: “My ears are asymmetrical?”
Spicoli: “You know what would go well with that cake, dude?”
Blue: “No, what?”
Spicoli: “Coffee.”
Blue: “They had coffee in the room next door. I can go steal some.”
Chaplin: “I was sure he was going to say ‘Doritos’.”
Charlee: “So was I!”
Producer Smurf: “All right, our first contestant is Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! I keep telling all of you! My name is Jill!”
Producer Smurf: “Vermin is some kind of wallaby or something. She smurfs around the house hissing at everyone.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Crazy smurf! I’m an opossum! The part about hissing is accurate though.”
Producer Smurf: “All right then, Vermin, let’s smurf your guess as to what kind of dog Lulu smurfs!”
Vermin: “HISSS! She’s a nasty dog! Just like all the other nasty dogs and cats! Also I think she’s a clone of Trixie.”
Chaplin: “Mouse, you ruled out cloning as a source of where Lulu came from, right?”
Mouse: “Well, I know Trouble’s Clone-o-Matic wasn’t used to make her, but it’s not like I checked every other Clone-o-Matic in the world.”
Lulu: “Hey, Bean, do you think you can teach me how to be a watchdog, too?”
Bean: “I don’t know. I think being a watchdog might be kind of an intrinsic thing. Sort of like being able to work the squeaker in a stuffie.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “What are you all doing back here empty-pawed? Didn’t I send you to check out that new coffee shop everyone’s talking about?”
Norman #1: “We found it. It’s in the backyard at the house where Dennis used to live.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Okay, so just give the fluffy dog that looks like Trixie but isn’t Trixie a belly rub, and steal the coffee when she falls asleep.”
Mr. Nibbles: “You look perturbed, friend Lulu.”
Lulu: “Java Bean set up a coffee shop in the backyard and I didn’t even notice. I feel like I’ve failed in my duty as a watchdog.”
Java Bean: “So what can I get for you cats?”
Chaplin: “Two catpuccinos with extra foam, a bird muffin and a lizard muffin, and a bowl full of moths.”
Java Bean: “Uh-huh. So the only one of those things I have anything close to is the catpuccino.”
Chaplin: “I bet Starbucks has them.”
Java Bean: “I bet they don’t.”
The Oceanside Animals 