What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Riley Edition

Mouse: “Decided to stop ‘flying’ around stage, did you?”
Java Bean: “Well you know, hovering takes a lot of energy.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, now that we’ve no longer got dogs smurfing around the stage on a string, it’s time to smurf our contestants’ guesses! Vermin, what breeds do you smurf went into Riley?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Scam! This whole show is a scam! There aren’t any prizes and I don’t think you really have any judges! So I refuse to make any more guesses until I see a prize, a judge, or both!”
Producer Smurf: “Sorry, our judges have smurfed that refusing to guess is a disqualifier. No prizes for you.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Because you don’t have any prizes!”
Charlee: “Game show contestants sure are unruly these days.”
Spicoli: “Could be worse, dude, we could be in an airport.”

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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Round 3

Producer Smurf: “Welcome back! It’s the third and final round of ‘What Went Into That Dog’, featuring our smurfy special guest Riley!”
Riley: “Hi everybody!”

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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Java Bean’s Results!

Norman #1: “Are you a ninja?”
Norman #2: “Look, I have a katana too!”
Norman #1: “Have you ever considered living underground?”
The Bride: “You weird little guinea pigs are messing up my cake frosting with your spines.”
Spicoli: “Dude, she thinks the ninja hedgehogs are guinea pigs.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I’m not going to correct her, friend Spicoli. Are you?”
Spicoli: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, all right, let’s try to smurf through the chaos and get to Java Bean’s breed results!”
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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Java Bean Edition

Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s try to smurf ourselves together long enough to smurf some guesses as to what Bean’s genetic makeup is. First, let’s smurf from Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog!”
Producer Smurf: “You smurfed the same guess for Lulu. Are you sure you don’t want to smurf a little more specific this time?”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog with asymmetrical ears!”
Producer Smurf: “The judges are smurfing me that ‘nasty with asymmetrical ears’ isn’t a breed, but they’ll allow it.”
Java Bean: “My ears are asymmetrical?”
Spicoli: “You know what would go well with that cake, dude?”
Blue: “No, what?”
Spicoli: “Coffee.”
Blue: “They had coffee in the room next door. I can go steal some.”
Chaplin: “I was sure he was going to say ‘Doritos’.”
Charlee: “So was I!”

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What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Lulu Edition

Producer Smurf: “All right, our first contestant is Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! I keep telling all of you! My name is Jill!”
Producer Smurf: “Vermin is some kind of wallaby or something. She smurfs around the house hissing at everyone.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Crazy smurf! I’m an opossum! The part about hissing is accurate though.”
Producer Smurf: “All right then, Vermin, let’s smurf your guess as to what kind of dog Lulu smurfs!”
Vermin: “HISSS! She’s a nasty dog! Just like all the other nasty dogs and cats! Also I think she’s a clone of Trixie.”
Chaplin: “Mouse, you ruled out cloning as a source of where Lulu came from, right?”
Mouse: “Well, I know Trouble’s Clone-o-Matic wasn’t used to make her, but it’s not like I checked every other Clone-o-Matic in the world.”

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You Too Could Be A Watchdog (Maybe)

Lulu: “Hey, Bean, do you think you can teach me how to be a watchdog, too?”
Bean: “I don’t know. I think being a watchdog might be kind of an intrinsic thing. Sort of like being able to work the squeaker in a stuffie.”

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Coffee Run

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “What are you all doing back here empty-pawed? Didn’t I send you to check out that new coffee shop everyone’s talking about?”
Norman #1: “We found it. It’s in the backyard at the house where Dennis used to live.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Okay, so just give the fluffy dog that looks like Trixie but isn’t Trixie a belly rub, and steal the coffee when she falls asleep.”

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Observed Around The Backyard

Mr. Nibbles: “You look perturbed, friend Lulu.”
Lulu: “Java Bean set up a coffee shop in the backyard and I didn’t even notice. I feel like I’ve failed in my duty as a watchdog.”
Java Bean: “So what can I get for you cats?”
Chaplin: “Two catpuccinos with extra foam, a bird muffin and a lizard muffin, and a bowl full of moths.”
Java Bean: “Uh-huh. So the only one of those things I have anything close to is the catpuccino.”
Chaplin: “I bet Starbucks has them.”
Java Bean: “I bet they don’t.”

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Spiders vs. Hedgehogs

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “All right, boys! The giant spiders have attacked! The moment we’ve been training for has finally arrived!”
Norman #1: “Sorry, what? Have we been training all these years to fight giant spiders?”

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On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Somebody I’ll Call Mini-Ni

Mini Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “You’re all going to regret this!”

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On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Cat Engaged In Some Thievery

Ninja Hedgehog Potted Cactus: “Put me down!”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “It’s a nice cactus. The spines aren’t too poky and it talks. I shall put it on a sunny shelf.”
Chaplin: “Unhand my pineapple, you … Wait, what was that about a sunny shelf?”
Charlee: “I can totally jump high enough to get that herring.”

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On The® Ninth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Potted Cactus For Delivery

Lulu: “All right, so say we get you a potted cactus. What then?”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Then you deliver the® cactus to our attorney’s office. Here is his card.”
Lulu: “I know where Scrooge’s office is. I was there not long ago looking into suing the® cats to get my boxes back from them.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Ooooohhh! An even more hopeless task than challenging the® Knights who say ‘Ni’!”
Ninja Hedgehogs: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”

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On The® Eighth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Quest But Not To Find Shrubbery

Blue: “Why do you all shriek like that every time that kinght says—”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence! Do not say that word!”
Norman #1: “Why do we shriek like that, Norman?”
Norman #2: “I don’t know, Norman. I just do it because everyone else does it.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Now then, I have been keeping track of how many times you have said ‘the®’ and ‘herring®’ and according to the licensing fee scale, you owe us …”
Lulu: “A shrubbery?”

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