Mr. Nibbles: “You look perturbed, friend Lulu.”
Lulu: “Java Bean set up a coffee shop in the backyard and I didn’t even notice. I feel like I’ve failed in my duty as a watchdog.”
Java Bean: “So what can I get for you cats?”
Chaplin: “Two catpuccinos with extra foam, a bird muffin and a lizard muffin, and a bowl full of moths.”
Java Bean: “Uh-huh. So the only one of those things I have anything close to is the catpuccino.”
Chaplin: “I bet Starbucks has them.”
Java Bean: “I bet they don’t.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “All right, boys! The giant spiders have attacked! The moment we’ve been training for has finally arrived!”
Norman #1: “Sorry, what? Have we been training all these years to fight giant spiders?”
Mini Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “You’re all going to regret this!”
Continue reading “On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Somebody I’ll Call Mini-Ni”
Ninja Hedgehog Potted Cactus: “Put me down!”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “It’s a nice cactus. The spines aren’t too poky and it talks. I shall put it on a sunny shelf.”
Chaplin: “Unhand my pineapple, you … Wait, what was that about a sunny shelf?”
Charlee: “I can totally jump high enough to get that herring.”
Lulu: “All right, so say we get you a potted cactus. What then?”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Then you deliver the® cactus to our attorney’s office. Here is his card.”
Lulu: “I know where Scrooge’s office is. I was there not long ago looking into suing the® cats to get my boxes back from them.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Ooooohhh! An even more hopeless task than challenging the® Knights who say ‘Ni’!”
Ninja Hedgehogs: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”
Blue: “Why do you all shriek like that every time that kinght says—”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence! Do not say that word!”
Norman #1: “Why do we shriek like that, Norman?”
Norman #2: “I don’t know, Norman. I just do it because everyone else does it.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Now then, I have been keeping track of how many times you have said ‘the®’ and ‘herring®’ and according to the licensing fee scale, you owe us …”
Lulu: “A shrubbery?”
Lulu: “Wait, so you Knights who say … What was that word again?”
Knight who says ‘Ni’: “Ni!”
Ninja Hedgehogs & Spearmint: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “You’ve got a lot of nerve, sneaking into the Ninja Hedgehog Underground Lair®.”
Blue: “I wouldn’t say we’re sneaking.”
Lulu: “We’re here to bring the elves—um, I mean, elf—back to the … Wait, did you just actually say ‘®‘ after ‘Underground Lair’?”
Spearmint: “I’m not going back, coppers! The secret of mealworm genetic engineering wants to be free!”
Ninja Hedgehog #1: “Shouldn’t you guys be sitting on a shelf instead of on the ground?”
Cinnamon: “That’s a hurtful stereotype. We can sit anywhere we want to.”
Spearmint: “Why, have you got a shelf?”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Yes, there’s a rock shelf right over there.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “All right, since you all insisted on seeing them, here are our spies, Cinnamon and Spearmint.”
Cinnamon: “Hi there!”
Spearmint: “Hello!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Now I gather you had some questions for them before we start the raids. So ask away.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Our spies have told us that those cats and that dog have developed a new strain of Christmas mealworm.”
Continue reading “On The Third Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Ninja Hedgehog Conspiracy”
Ninja Hedgehog: “Hey, Vermin, somebody’s here to see you. But keep stirring the mealworm vat.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I told you, my name is Jill! If you keep calling me Vermin, I’m reporting you to Animal Resources!”
Mouse: “Why did you guys want to talk to me out here instead of calling a meeting in the conference room?”
Lulu: “We’re concerned that it may become overrun by replicating toupees. Also, we don’t know how to use the calendar program to reserve time in the conference room.”
Mouse: “Well if you ever attended any of my in-services, then you would learn how to … wait, what was that about toupees?”
The Oceanside Animals 