Tag: opossums

Full Court Press

Mouse: “How is it that with all the money you have flying around you, you can never manage to convince the court that they don’t have jurisdiction over animals?” Scrooge: “It’s their ridiculous names. ‘Dennis’? ‘Charlee’? ‘Chaplin’? These are not proper pet names. What…

Round Like A Record

Mouse: “So after chewing my way through Dennis’s records, I have concluded that the creditors mentioned in his will are mostly holding debt related to his massive stuffie habit.” Chaplin: “Dennis has records?” Charlee: “Can we listen to them?”

The Last Will and Testament of Dennis the Vizsla Dog

Scrooge: “I’ve read several ridiculous last wills and testaments for you creatures over the years, but this one really puts the butter on the crumpet. Bah humbug.” Mouse: “How so?” Chaplin: “Did you hear that? We’re getting buttered crumpets.” Charlee: “I don’t think that’s…

Garden Pests of California

Spicoli: “Hey, dude. Trying out a new look?” Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty dog! When the sprinklers in that field came on, they softened up the pomade so I could escape, but then it hardened up again and gave me a pompadour. What are you all…

Lo Pan And Shut Case

Bugs Bunny: “I’m pretty  impressed that you managed to wriggle out of that tiny tunnel opening, Doc. How’d you do it?” Jack Burton: “Nothing to it. I just greased it up with pomade and slipped right out.” Vermin: “HISSS! I seem to be stuck…

Lo Pan Range

Bugs Bunny: “So you say you got set up by this Lo Pan, eh? I don’t know that guy. I usually have to put up with jokers like Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam. Is this Lo Pan like either of those maroons?” Dennis: “Yep,…

The Pork Chop Express

Mr. Nibbles: “All right, so I think we’ve arrived at a solution that everyone can live with. First, Lo Pan will go stand by the cat tree so the Hipsters can jump from his head to the tree without any loss of altitude.” Charlee:…

Lo Panning Negotiations

Mr. Nibbles: “Thanks for asking me to handle these negotiations. Let’s start by setting expectations. Lo Pan, what would you like to get out of these discussions?” Lo Pan: “I would like to get these cats off my head.” Mr. Nibbles: “Well, that’s something…

Hi Pan

Lo Pan: “So your names are Miss Charlie and Mr. Chaplin? I am ever so pleased to meet you.” Charlee: “Look how tall that person is, Chaplin.” Chaplin: “He’s very tall.”

Burger King

Mouse: “Say, Vermin, did you by any chance convince Dennis he was the King of California?” Vermin: “HISS! Nasty mouse! Stop calling me Vermin. And also, yes.”

Royal Flush

Vermin: “HISS! Nasty dog! Stop monopolizing the TV! It’s time for my stories! What are you watching, anyway?” Dennis: “I don’t know what it’s called but it’s a movie about a beagle who becomes the king of England. Also, some girl marries a lumberjack.”

Hungary Or Hunger-y?

Mouse: “As you all know, Dennis got himself ‘repatriated’ to Hungary. The purpose of this meeting is to form a rescue party to bring him back.” Vermin: “HISSS! I don’t see why we have to bother! Once he starts shredding all their furniture, they’ll…

NASA Canasta

Senator #1: “Mr. Vizsla, are you sure we can’t get you some bottled water or a snack that’s not served in a dog food bowl?” Dennis: “Well, since you’re offering …”

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