Extraordinary Claims …

Mouse: “All right, so, you claim that you three versions of Lulu, Chaplin, and Bean are from an alternate dimension?”
Lulu: “That’s correct.”

Continue reading “Extraordinary Claims …”

When The Birthday Dog’s Away

Dada’s Note: According to Bean’s paperwork from the shelter, his birthday is August 10th, 2021, making him one year old today! Since he is of course off exploring the Multiverse with Lulu and Chaplin, his party has been unavoidably delayed …

Mr. Nibbles: “Aren’t you tired of sitting in that box yet, Charlee?”
Charlee: “I don’t even understand what that means.”
Blue: “I object to the portrayal of dinosaurs on that birthday banner.”
Mouse: “But not the ones in the ‘Jurassic Park’ movies?”
Blue: “I get residuals for those.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do we have to wait for Bean before we have cake?”
Spicoli: “Because it’s Bean’s birthday, dude. Plus the baker’s not finished making it.”
Producer Smurf: “Greedy Smurf! How much longer until the cake is ready?”
Greedy Smurf: “I have to start over! I smurfed a sample taste and ended up smurfing the whole thing!”

Happy first birthday to the Bean!

Into The Stuffie-Verse

Chaplin: “All right, you’ve had the box long enough. Now it’s my turn to sit in there.”
Charlee: “I reserved the box for six hours, I’m sitting in the box for six hours.”
Chaplin: “Reserved the box? Where did you that?”
Charlee: “On the box signup sheet that I made and then hid so you wouldn’t find it.”
Mr. Nibbles: “It’s such a big box, friend Hipsters. Surely you can sit in it together.”
Charlee & Chaplin: “No.”

Continue reading “Into The Stuffie-Verse”

Time And Relative Dimensions In Stuffies

Java Bean: “Vermin pointed out that you didn’t actually say there was no such place as Stuffiland. You just said the smurf didn’t get the prizes from there.”
Mouse: “Please don’t tell me you’re taking advice from Vermin these days.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty mouse! Stop calling me Vermin! And they could do worse than to take advice from me!”
Mouse: “Yes, that’s true, they could be taking advice from Dennis or Trouble.”

Continue reading “Time And Relative Dimensions In Stuffies”

What Is The Dynamic Duo?

Norman #3: “That’s the most ridiculous superhero outfit I’ve ever seen.”
Norman #2: “Well, now, remember that time Batman’s GPS went wonky and he showed up in our cave and he was wearing that suit with the nipples on it?”
Java Bean: “So, ninja hedgehogs! I bet you didn’t expect to run into a brand new crime-fighting duo today!”
Norman #4: “Which one of you is Supermutt and which one is Exotic Lulu?”
Norman #1: “Nice job phrasing your answer in the form of a question, Norman!”

Continue reading “What Is The Dynamic Duo?”

What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Special Guest Riley’s Results!

Producer Smurf: “All right, well, while we’re waiting for the fire department to smurf up, let’s see if we can’t smurf Riley’s results!”
Chia: “You guys see that gopher over there, right?”
Xena: “Yes.”
Chia: “Are we gonna get him?”
Xena: “No.”
Chia: “Why not?”
Xena: “Because he might have another bomb.”
Continue reading “What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Special Guest Riley’s Results!”

What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Riley Edition

Mouse: “Decided to stop ‘flying’ around stage, did you?”
Java Bean: “Well you know, hovering takes a lot of energy.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, now that we’ve no longer got dogs smurfing around the stage on a string, it’s time to smurf our contestants’ guesses! Vermin, what breeds do you smurf went into Riley?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Scam! This whole show is a scam! There aren’t any prizes and I don’t think you really have any judges! So I refuse to make any more guesses until I see a prize, a judge, or both!”
Producer Smurf: “Sorry, our judges have smurfed that refusing to guess is a disqualifier. No prizes for you.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Because you don’t have any prizes!”
Charlee: “Game show contestants sure are unruly these days.”
Spicoli: “Could be worse, dude, we could be in an airport.”

Continue reading “What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Riley Edition”

What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Round 3

Producer Smurf: “Welcome back! It’s the third and final round of ‘What Went Into That Dog’, featuring our smurfy special guest Riley!”
Riley: “Hi everybody!”

Continue reading “What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Round 3”

What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Java Bean’s Results!

Norman #1: “Are you a ninja?”
Norman #2: “Look, I have a katana too!”
Norman #1: “Have you ever considered living underground?”
The Bride: “You weird little guinea pigs are messing up my cake frosting with your spines.”
Spicoli: “Dude, she thinks the ninja hedgehogs are guinea pigs.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I’m not going to correct her, friend Spicoli. Are you?”
Spicoli: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, all right, let’s try to smurf through the chaos and get to Java Bean’s breed results!”
Continue reading “What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Featuring Java Bean’s Results!”

What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Java Bean Edition

Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s try to smurf ourselves together long enough to smurf some guesses as to what Bean’s genetic makeup is. First, let’s smurf from Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog!”
Producer Smurf: “You smurfed the same guess for Lulu. Are you sure you don’t want to smurf a little more specific this time?”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog with asymmetrical ears!”
Producer Smurf: “The judges are smurfing me that ‘nasty with asymmetrical ears’ isn’t a breed, but they’ll allow it.”
Java Bean: “My ears are asymmetrical?”
Spicoli: “You know what would go well with that cake, dude?”
Blue: “No, what?”
Spicoli: “Coffee.”
Blue: “They had coffee in the room next door. I can go steal some.”
Chaplin: “I was sure he was going to say ‘Doritos’.”
Charlee: “So was I!”

Continue reading “What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Java Bean Edition”