CSI: The Denouement

Horatio Caine: “… And so, after interviewing everyone here, I’ve been unable to find a viable suspect in the case of the mysterious pile of feathers. Most likely the crime was perpetrated by an outside agent, like a hawk or a jabberwock or a vicious knid. Any questions?”
Spicoli: “I have a question, dude. Where’d you get those shades? You never did tell me.”
Charlee: “How many kinds of knids are there? Are they all vicious or only some of them?”
Horation Cane: “Any questions about the case?
Spicoli: “No.”
Charlee: “No.”

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CSI: The Mealworm Vats

Ninja Hedgehog: “Hey, Vermin, somebody’s here to see you. But keep stirring the mealworm vat.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I told you, my name is Jill! If you keep calling me Vermin, I’m reporting you to Animal Resources!”

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Outside Investigations

Lulu: “All right, if everyone is through arguing and pointing paws at each other, I need to put together a team to investigate who ate the bird, stipulating that it wasn’t me or one of the cats.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Letting yourself and the nasty cats off the hook up front? I smell a coverup!”

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Whorunit Whodunit?

Lulu: “I found this pile of feathers in the yard. No sign of the bird it came from.”
Vermin: “HISSS! That’s why you dragged us into a meeting? Because of some stupid feathers?”

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Let’s Vote On It

Mouse: “All right, so the reason I called this lunch meeting is to discuss what to do about this Blue character.”
Chaplin: “What do you mean?”
Spicoli: “What am I supposed to do with timothy hay?”

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Have Thumbs, Will Travel

Spicoli: “So, uh, where are you dudes off to in your Dada’s car?”
Blue: “Don’t ask me, I’m just the driver.”
Charlee: “We’re going to the pet store!”
Lulu: “I’m going to the dog park!”

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Put This Thumb To The Test

Mouse: “All right, the first test of your thumb functionality will be opening this can of dog food.”
Lulu: “Come on, Blue! You can do it!”
Producer Smurf: “I smurf thumbs too, you know, and no one is smurfing all over me about it.”
Spicoli: “No you don’t, dude. You have four fingers that all look the same. Besides, you never let go of your megaphone or your little book.”

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Game Change

Lulu: “So I take it the guys in the suits are in this cabinet?”
Blue: “Yes they are. Say, are those cupcakes?”
Charlee: “You really like stalking people around kitchens, don’t you?”
Blue: “Well, you know, if something makes you famous, you stick with it.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why is that nasty Blue still here? She’s obnoxious, she has too many teeth, all she ever does is talk about food, and she’s not even really a bird!”

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I Heard It On The SmurfChain

Mouse: “All right, Producer Smurf, you called this meeting so you have the floor.”
Producer Smurf: “Smurfy! I’m going to smurf the floor to Blockchain Smurf.”

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Alterant Replicant

Charlee: “Lulu! Spicoli! The vet stole Chaplin and replaced him with an exact replica!”
Spicoli: “Dude, that sounds like the sort of paranoid thing Dennis might have said back in the day.”
Charlee: “I know! And look how often Dennis was right about those things!”
Spicoli: “Uh, yeah, dude. Just look.”

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