ChapQuest

Spicoli: “Yo, mousie dude, any luck locating Chaplin’s microchip yet?”
Mouse: “Not yet. I just uploaded the worm and it’s starting to search for other computers and IoT devices to infect and use to search for Chaplin.”
Vermin: “HISS! Now we have to walk on nasty wood chips?! I didn’t sign up for this!”
Mr. Nibbles: “But it’s such a nice day. And aren’t the trees pretty?”
Producer Smurf: “Boooooring.”

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Search Pawty

Lulu: “Where’s Charlee?”
Mr. Nibbles: “Apparently she was serious about catching up on nap time while her brother is away.”
Lulu: “Fair enough. What about the mouse?”
Spicoli: “He’s rigging up a computer worm to take over all the networks in the area and track Chaplin’s microchip.”

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Handsome Ransom

Charlee: “It seems like the thing to do will be to go to the ninja hedgehog lair and ask them to give Chaplin back.”
Spicoli: “What makes you think the hedgehogs will give him back instead of keeping him as a hostage, dude?”
Charlee: “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘The Ransom of Red Chief‘?”

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Overheard Around the Conference Room

Mouse: “So Chaplin left you to watch his ill-gotten loot.”
Lulu: “Yes.”

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Caturday Picture Show: The Results Are In

Randy: “Yo! Hello there, dawgs! We’re back with the results of audience voting from last week’s Caturday Picture Show!”
Charlee: “Why does he keep calling us dogs when some of us are clearly cats?”
Vermin: “HISS! Why do you keep calling me ‘Vermin’ when my name is Jill and I’m clearly mostly beneficial?”
Simon: “We decided to present the winning entry via teleconference to avoid any more issues with giant mealworms and such.”
Paula: “I’m still having nightmares about that thing!”

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Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!

Lulu: “Hello friendlies! Lulu here! We are pre-empting the Caturday Matinee this week to present the Paper Bob Holiday 2020 Coloring Contest!”
Chaplin: “Who’s Paper Bob? Is he like Flat Stanley?”
Charlee: “I hope not. The last time Flat Stanley showed up, he stole a car and took Dennis on a car chase all around Southern California.
Lulu: “I don’t think Paper Bob is anything like Flat Stanley. See, Mama and Dada bought some flour and stuff mail order from Bob’s Red Mill and there was a coloring contest included in the package. I got hold of it and I thought it would be fun for us animals to do something with Paper Bob.”
Chaplin: “You mean like eat him?”
Lulu: “Uh, no. Well, maybe we can do that later. But first I thought we could have our own contest where we all make a little picture with Paper Bob, and then we let the judges review them.”
Charlee: “What judges?”
Lulu: “Oh I found some names in Dennis’s old Rolodex. Okay, I’ll start.”

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It’s A Lulu Of A Birthday!

Today we’d like to wish a happy birthday to our Lulu girl! According to the paperwork from the shelter, her previous owners listed her birthday as 12/17/2015.

The birthday girl and friend
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Where in the World are Charlee and Chaplin?

Lulu: “Have you seen the Hipsters? We were watching television and they disappeared on me.”
Mouse: “Not lately, but they’re cats. They could be anywhere. Did you look on top of the fireplace?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the cat tree?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “Under the armoire?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the litter box?”
Lulu: “Why, what have you heard?”

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My Cup Runneth Empty

Charlee: “We were just kidding about the stink. You smell terrific.”
Skunk: “Yeah? What terrific thing do I smell like?”
Spicoli: “Patchouli. Or maybe pizza. Or maybe pizza with patchouli on top.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Like freshly roasted ticks!”
Lulu: “Like something I found in the yard that I want to roll in.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Like a fresh load of wood chips in the bottom of a guinea pig pen.”
Mouse: “Like cheese. But not the stinky kind.”
Producer Smurf: “Like Papa Smurf’s beard!”
Chaplin: “Like the inside of an ice cream cup that’s been on somebody’s head for a while.”
Skunk: “You are such a bunch of liars.”

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