Dog Impact

Having achieved orbit and rendezvoused with the shuttle, we are now prepared to travel to the outer limits of the solar system and destroy the Alaska-sized asteroid that threatens to obliterate all life on earth. Our precious payload of Pop Rocks and soda is the only thing standing between our planet and a deep impact.

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In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

Having accidentally missed the launch of our own shuttle, it had seemed as if there was no chance we would be able to save the earth from the giant asteroid on a collision course; but, at the last moment and at great expense, we were able to procure a replacement ship, the Orca, piloted by my old friend Quint’s brother, Quad. The earth now has a second chance, and we must make the most of it!

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Deepageddon

Having completed our astronaut training, our little band of spacefarers is preparing to depart the Earth with our load of Pop Rocks and soda in a desperate attempt to blow up the asteroid that threatens to destroy our planet. But before we go, we have time to stop by the conference room to watch the President address the nation, and indeed the world, to provide a much-needed dose of hope and reassurance.

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dispatch frum the see

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel trixie and i ar having an uneventful voyadj so far abord owr noo frend quints ship we ar lerning how to be saylors and quint and i hav ben bonding over owr scars in a verry manly fashun:

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