ChapQuest

Spicoli: “Yo, mousie dude, any luck locating Chaplin’s microchip yet?”
Mouse: “Not yet. I just uploaded the worm and it’s starting to search for other computers and IoT devices to infect and use to search for Chaplin.”
Vermin: “HISS! Now we have to walk on nasty wood chips?! I didn’t sign up for this!”
Mr. Nibbles: “But it’s such a nice day. And aren’t the trees pretty?”
Producer Smurf: “Boooooring.”

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Lu The Guajome Regional Park!

Hello friendlies! Lulu here! This week we had something called “Independence Day”, which is a day when Mama and Dada don’t work and the television gets played really loud in the evening while treats rain from the sky for no apparent reason. But before the television and the treats, there was a little road trip to a park that the other dogs who used to live here used to go to!

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The Adventure of the Stolen Poop Bags

Hello good readers.  This is Tucker the Much Better Vizsla than Dennis.  Since my bout of aspiration pneumonia some weeks ago, I have not been able to go for walks around the harbor like I used to; however, Mama and Dada did recently take me to the park at the top of the hill so I could go people-watching.  Trixie came along to protect us from evil perpetrators, while Dennis stayed home, because the park tends to be quite crowded and Dennis is a paranoid agoraphobic hermit. Or something like that.

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dogs abowt town!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel after my imadjinaree toor of the faymus boo park in the mithikal sitty of carbondale i thawt it wood be nice to shayr sum pikchers of an akchooal toor arownd oshunside!!! i hav not ben going to the harbor so mutch on akkownt of it is toorist seezun witch duz not meen we git to hunt them ha ha it meens they go to the beetch and the harbor and spend green paypers but they do not giv the green paypers to me so as far as i am konsernd they ar just in the way!!! but i digress!!! my poynt wuz that trixie and i hav ben going on short toors of owr ded end street insted of going to the harbor!!!  tucker stil duz not hav the enerdjee for wawking mutch so he has ben holding down the fort at home!!!

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my buddy todd!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel yoo may hav wunderd ware we wer going in that viddyo ware mama so kroolly mayd us wayt at the door wel i can tel yoo we wer going to see my buddy todd!!! now hoo is my buddy todd yoo ask??? wel my buddy todd isnt a hoo its more of a wot kind of like mongo frum the faymus dokyoomentry blayzing saddels eksept wareaz mongo wuz just a verry lardj man my buddy todd is a park check it owt it has got trees:

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under the power linez … owt of the sun … becuz its clowdy …

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay this weekend we went for a wawk underneeth the power linez neer owr howse theez ar sum of the lines wot deliver elektrisity to the mithical land of sandy eggo to among other things power shamu the wales deth ray and wotnot

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feed the homeless lady

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay the other day mama tuk tucker and me to the park to wawk arownd and stuf and then sum men came and startd fert … fertal … well they startd spredding powder arownd so mama tuk me and tucker to sit under a tree for a wile then sum peepul came and set up a piknik neerby they wer sum littel samoan girls with there grammy and grampy hoo kept luking at us finaly they came over and askd mama if she wanted sumthing to eet and withowt evn checking with tucker or me she sed no she wuz fine!!!!!  can yoo imajin?!?!?  so then the littel girls went away but then they came bak with a littel soda and a can of pringuls potayto chips and sed to mama “theez ar for yoo” so mama tuk them and still me and tucker didnt get ennything it is more diskriminashun i tell yoo!!!!

well ennyway wen mama told dada abowt the piknik and the littel girls and the free fud dada sed “maybe they thawt yoo wer homeless wot wer yoo waring?”  mama sed in a lowd voise “i wuz waring nice clothes i didn’t luk like a homeless persun!!!!”  she sez maybe it is in the samoan kultcher to share fud with peepul but dada stil sez they thawt she wuz homeless even if she wuz waring cloths withowt holez in them for wunse most the holez in mamas cloths are my fault but luk they got mama a can of pringuls so it all evens owt in the end ha ha ok bye

Follow Your Nose

So yesterday, I went to the park with my wife and Tucker to help with Tucker’s scenting; and by “help” I mean I sat and held Tucker’s lead while my wife went around laying a trail of mozzarella bits and hiding a sock full of string cheese, which is the “jackpot” at the end of the trail.  (Also, I “helped” by discouraging her from marking the trail with flour, on the theory that after we left, somebody would come along, see the flour, think it was anthrax or ricin or something, and call in a HazMat team.  I think I annoyed her a little, but at least she isn’t going to get carted off to jail.)

Anyway, my job was pretty easy.  Sit.  Stay.  Good boy.  Tucker’s job was a little harder.

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