Having turned the tables on bounty-hunting Pug Masterson, my friend the Man With No Name is once again in control of his own destiny, as am I. Much as I would love to stay and further study the history and aftermath of the Rice Wars, I have unfinished business in space. To my surprise, the Man With No Name offers his assistance in getting me back there; it turns out he has been secretly building a launching pad, with the intent to leave this world behind and find another one, a world where you can have rice or orzo or both and no one thinks anything of it. The name of this Utopian planet? Earth.
Tag: pop rocks
Having achieved orbit and rendezvoused with the shuttle, we are now prepared to travel to the outer limits of the solar system and destroy the Alaska-sized asteroid that threatens to obliterate all life on earth. Our precious payload of Pop Rocks and soda is the only thing standing between our planet and a deep impact.
Having completed our astronaut training, our little band of spacefarers is preparing to depart the Earth with our load of Pop Rocks and soda in a desperate attempt to blow up the asteroid that threatens to destroy our planet. But before we go, we have time to stop by the conference room to watch the President address the nation, and indeed the world, to provide a much-needed dose of hope and reassurance.
Having returned in triumph from Little China, I am expecting to be given a new assignment in my new position as a paranormal investigator; but instead I find the university abuzz with news of impending planetary disaster. The astronomers in our physics department have discovered a giant asteroid heading straight for earth. An emergency meeting has been called to figure out how to avert this catastrophe; and of course, with my stellar track record of beating insurmountable odds, they want me to be involved. Can we save the world? I hope so — all my stuff is there! If we succeed, we will be heroes; if we fail, it will be … Armageddon.