Christmas Break

Charlee: “The most bizarre aspect of this is Spicoli being right all along about Bumble being Producer Smurf.”
Producer Smurf: “Well I hope you’re happy! You’ve ruined everything! This was going to be the most smurfy prison break/Christmas movie mashup ever and instead all I have is a deflated Bumble balloon that I can’t even smurf back to Costco!”
Mouse: “Let me guess. You thought of the name ‘Christmas Break’ for your movie and worked backwards from there to come up with a plot.”

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That’s A Suspiciously Specific Denial You’ve Got There

Lulu: “So this whole time you’ve just been Producer Smurf in disguise trying to trick us into filming some kind of crime show?”
Java Bean: “You got us arrested by Santa for no good reason! Although I have to say that Santa runs una prisión muy elegante.”
Art Deco: “I can categorically state that I am not Producer Smurf in disguise.”

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(N)ice Fishing

Charlee: “All right, so you catch more fish in your stockings while the mouse and I go find the dogs. Got it?”
Mouse: “This seems like an awfully inconvenient way to get fish. You know your Dada can just buy it at the grocery store, right?”
Charlee: “Can buy it, yes. Will buy it, no.”

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The Dogshank Redemption

Mouse: “According to these documents on the North Pole computer network, Lulu and Bean and somebody named ‘Art Deco’ are being held in Santa’s high-security prison, the Santopticon.”
Chaplin: “That’s a shame. I guess we won’t be seeing any of them again.”
Charlee: “Mama won’t mind if I store my fish heads in her slippers …”

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Bumble Fish

Chaplin: “Check it out, Charlee. Maybe you and this monster can bond over your shared shoe fetish.”
Charlee: “I DO NOT HAVE A SHOE FETISH!
Spicoli: “You can like shoes if you want to, dude. To each his or her own, etc.”
Mouse: “Leaving aside who does or does not enjoy putting her face into shoes, how did you all manage to miss an abominable snowman sneaking into the house?”

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The Pork Chop Express

Mr. Nibbles: “All right, so I think we’ve arrived at a solution that everyone can live with. First, Lo Pan will go stand by the cat tree so the Hipsters can jump from his head to the tree without any loss of altitude.”
Charlee: “Agreed.”

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Overheard Around The House And Elsewhere

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Vermin: “HISSS! I don’t know why they brought in these kittens when there’s already a perfectly good grey and white cat hanging around.”
Mouse: “But, ‘Dennis’, I don’t see a grey and white ‘cat’ anywhere. Do you?”
Charlee: “A talking field mouse. / A smelly dog-headed thing. / It’s like a freak show.”

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Beneath the Planet of the Stuffies

After being betrayed by my supposed ally, George the shirtless gun-toting nearsighted human, I have found myself dragged off to a dank dungeon cell deep beneath the planet of the stuffies. Here, I am told, I will await my fate, which will be decided by a judgment passed by the Elder Stuffies. If the behavior of the other stuffies is any indication, I cannot begin to hope for a fair hearing from these creatures. Meanwhile, their scientists are no doubt probing the technology of the Doghouse of Justice. I must escape before these horrible creatures learn how to use it and are unleashed upon an unsuspecting universe …

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