Caturday Picture Show: The Results Are In

Randy: “Yo! Hello there, dawgs! We’re back with the results of audience voting from last week’s Caturday Picture Show!”
Charlee: “Why does he keep calling us dogs when some of us are clearly cats?”
Vermin: “HISS! Why do you keep calling me ‘Vermin’ when my name is Jill and I’m clearly mostly beneficial?”
Simon: “We decided to present the winning entry via teleconference to avoid any more issues with giant mealworms and such.”
Paula: “I’m still having nightmares about that thing!”

Continue reading “Caturday Picture Show: The Results Are In”

Hot Stuff

Chaplin: “Lulu was telling me how she gets treats for turning in things she steals, like Mama’s glasses or shoes, so I figured I would get in on the action.”
Mr. Nibbles: “But how did you steal this much stuff? And where did you steal it from? I mean, I know your house is a little cluttered, but I’ve never seen any of these things around.”
Spicoli: “Dibs on the PlayStation!”

Continue reading “Hot Stuff”

Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!

Lulu: “Hello friendlies! Lulu here! We are pre-empting the Caturday Matinee this week to present the Paper Bob Holiday 2020 Coloring Contest!”
Chaplin: “Who’s Paper Bob? Is he like Flat Stanley?”
Charlee: “I hope not. The last time Flat Stanley showed up, he stole a car and took Dennis on a car chase all around Southern California.
Lulu: “I don’t think Paper Bob is anything like Flat Stanley. See, Mama and Dada bought some flour and stuff mail order from Bob’s Red Mill and there was a coloring contest included in the package. I got hold of it and I thought it would be fun for us animals to do something with Paper Bob.”
Chaplin: “You mean like eat him?”
Lulu: “Uh, no. Well, maybe we can do that later. But first I thought we could have our own contest where we all make a little picture with Paper Bob, and then we let the judges review them.”
Charlee: “What judges?”
Lulu: “Oh I found some names in Dennis’s old Rolodex. Okay, I’ll start.”

Continue reading “Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!”

It’s A Lulu Of A Birthday!

Today we’d like to wish a happy birthday to our Lulu girl! According to the paperwork from the shelter, her previous owners listed her birthday as 12/17/2015.

The birthday girl and friend
Continue reading “It’s A Lulu Of A Birthday!”

Where in the World are Charlee and Chaplin?

Lulu: “Have you seen the Hipsters? We were watching television and they disappeared on me.”
Mouse: “Not lately, but they’re cats. They could be anywhere. Did you look on top of the fireplace?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the cat tree?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “Under the armoire?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the litter box?”
Lulu: “Why, what have you heard?”

Continue reading “Where in the World are Charlee and Chaplin?”

My Cup Runneth Empty

Charlee: “We were just kidding about the stink. You smell terrific.”
Skunk: “Yeah? What terrific thing do I smell like?”
Spicoli: “Patchouli. Or maybe pizza. Or maybe pizza with patchouli on top.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Like freshly roasted ticks!”
Lulu: “Like something I found in the yard that I want to roll in.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Like a fresh load of wood chips in the bottom of a guinea pig pen.”
Mouse: “Like cheese. But not the stinky kind.”
Producer Smurf: “Like Papa Smurf’s beard!”
Chaplin: “Like the inside of an ice cream cup that’s been on somebody’s head for a while.”
Skunk: “You are such a bunch of liars.”

Continue reading “My Cup Runneth Empty”

Woodland Creatures

Producer Smurf: “So, fellow woodland creature, what smurfs you into the house for a visit?”
Skunk: “I was invited in for cat food. Also, you may. not be aware of this, but it’s not exactly a woodland around these parts.”
Chaplin: “Why are you calling Charlee a ‘woodland creature’? Cats are from the desert.”

Continue reading “Woodland Creatures”

SnackQuest

SnackQuest_1

Chaplin: “Do you have any snacks I could borrow?”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘borrow’? Snacks are really a one-way kind of item after you eat them.”
Chaplin: “They’re not for me. Charlee and Lulu are mad at me and won’t let me into their Princess Club unless I bring them snacks.”
Mouse: “I see. Well, leaving aside the fact that you are not exactly Princess Club material, yes, I have snacks. I’ve been collecting dried cranberries, stale granola, grains of rice, peanuts, peanut shells—”
Chaplin: “Yuck! That all sounds more like trash than like snacks.”
Mouse: “Well, I am a mouse.”

Continue reading “SnackQuest”

Fundraising

Yard Turtle: “What’s with the big red banner?”
Lulu: “Well for some reason no one was in favor of getting money from Facebook, and the local health department put the kibosh on my plan to put opn a benefit concert to raise money for balloons. They got an anonymous tip and shut us down.”
Mouse: “I was the one who called the health department. You’re welcome.”
Chaplin: “So did I. That thing is worse than the vacuum cleaner.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I called them too!”
Charlee: “Me too.”
Spicoli: “I tried to call them but I accidentally ordered a bunch of pizzas instead.”

Continue reading “Fundraising”

The Quorum Forum

Lulu: “All right, now that we have a quorum, let’s hear arguments for and against, then take a vote to decide if we want to try to get this economic assistance from Facebook so that we can buy new balloons for the turtle.”
Vermin: “HISSS! ‘Quorum’? Since when do we use fancy Latin words around here?”
Mouse: “Vote? You want us to vote? Has this become a democracy instead of you or the cats just going off and doing something crazy?”
Charlee: “I’ve never gone off and done something crazy. I’m the cautious one.”
Chaplin: “I’m contemplating doing something crazy right this second.”
Spicoli: “Yeah, dude, we can tell from your crazy eyes.”

Chaplin: “Look at me! I’m on television!”
Spicoli: “You’re on the television, dude. Not the same thing.”
Lulu: “Let’s all try to settle down and focus. Now, does anyone have any opinions on why we should try to get money from Facebook?”

Lulu: “Isn’t anybody going to say anything?”
Mysterious Intruder: “Facebook is totally trustworthy and you should definitely give them all your information about everything.”
Chaplin: “Get out of my recessed lighting hiding place, Zuckerberg.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Wow, Facebook really does track you everywhere.”
Spicoli: “Now I see two sets of crazy eyes.”