ar yoo gunna eet that???

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay so we ar bak frum owr adventchers on the hi seez and boy it shoor is gud to hav mamas home cuking agin!!!  all quint noo how to mayk was pork and beens evry nite!!!  as yoo can see trixie espeshly wuz enjoying her yummy raw fud continyooing to eet it even after tucker and i had long sinse polishd off owrs:

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the attak of the weerd noyzy masheen wot spits owt meet

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel a straynj boks arrivd at the howse the uther day this is wot it lukd like:

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wot duz entrapmint meen???

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizlsa dog hay wel it luks like tucker is definitly feeling better theez days becuz luk wot he is up to:

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dawn of the turkee neks

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay i hav herd that at thanksgiving peepul like to eet turkees and i hav also herd that theez turkeez havnt got heds ennymore wel gess wot that meens yes thats rite that meens sinse they dont hav there heds ennymore they dont need neks!!!!

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Green … Stuff

No, nobody threw up into a bowl … we started giving our animals alternative foods after all that melamine nonsense broke last year, and this is a dehydrated raw food that my wife sometimes feeds our dogs. I affectionately refer to it as “green stuff” (only I don’t say “stuff”). Doesn’t it look yummmmmmy? (The little pill is a fatty acid gel-cap for Dennis’s coat.)

My wife would like to state for the record that “green stuff” contains 100% human food grade turkey, organic flaxseed, potatoes, celery, spinach, carrots, coconut, apples, kelp (human-grade kelp???), eggs, sesame seeds, bananas, cranberries, rosemary, vitamins, and minerals, and the dogs just love it.

By the way, the state of Ohio evidently believes its citizens are too stupid to realize that “green stuff” is dog food, as if seeing “human food grade” on the label would make you think it’s a new kind of hot cereal or something. You probably could eat it, actually; but would you?

“Please, sir, I want some more green stuff.” — Oliver Twist, if he lived in Ohio