Charlee: “This is the worst-organized store I’ve ever seen.”
Lulu: “Are you sure this is Pier One?”
GPS: “BING! Of course I’m sure. I’m connected to satellites and stuff.”
Seagull: “What about bits of bread? Have you got any bits of bread?”
Chaplin: “Do I look like I would have bits of bread?”
Seagull: “Everyone looks like they would have bits of bread.”
Chaplin: “So where do we have to go to get this meat-based patio furniture?”
Lulu: “I’m not sure, the picture didn’t say. I figure we can start at Pier One. They sell patio furniture.”
Charlee: “Makes sense. Should we take Dada’s car or the Magic Flying Coaster?”
Lulu: “Well, Dada’s car is kind of slow these days, and the Magic Flying Coaster has limited cargo capacity. But I have a plan.”
Charlee: “What do you suppose happened to Dada’s car?”
Chaplin: “Maybe it drove itself home. Don’t cars drive themselves places these days?”
Blue’s Phone: “BEEP! Your ride will arrive in five minutes.”
Lulu: “How are we going to get to the dog park without a car? How are we going to get home?”
Blue: “While we’re thinking about it, we can just walk to the food court. It’s right over there.”
Hello friendlies! Lulu here, with a tale of my recent grand adventure! It started during the pandemic, when Mama and Dada started noticing tiny little round brown and black deposits all over the laundry machines in the garage. The laundry machines are white, so it was pretty obvious that these little pellets weren’t supposed to be there. It turns out these pellets are termite poop. Here’s a visual aid:
It’s important to make sure you’re not attempting to brew termite pellets in your Keurig or sprinkling them on your scrambled eggs.
Continue reading “Lulu’s Big Adventure, Part 1: Got Termites?”
Blue: “Don’t any of you people understand how merging works?!”
Continue reading “Drive It Like You Stole It”
Giorgio A. Tsoukalos: “Behind me you can see the latest discovery here on the Nazca plateau: A giant drawing of a cat.”
Continue reading “Observed Around the Plateau”
GPS: “*BING* Now passing fabulous Lima, Peru, on the left.”
Chaplin: “We can read.”
Pit Crew Member: “Sorry, guys, I checked with all the NASCAR sites on the West Coast and nobody has seen a couple of tuxedo cats flying around on a giant disk.”
Lulu: “Thanks. Spicoli, are you sure the GPS said it was plotting a route to NASCAR?”
Spicoli: “That’s what it sounded like, dude. I mean, is there any other word that sounds like ‘NASCAR’?”
Pit Crew Member: “‘Mascara’ sounds a little bit like ‘NASCAR’.”
ICE Photographer: “We can’t see you.”
Charlee: “Sorry, just a second.”
Lulu: “Have you seen the Hipsters? We were watching television and they disappeared on me.”
Mouse: “Not lately, but they’re cats. They could be anywhere. Did you look on top of the fireplace?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the cat tree?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “Under the armoire?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the litter box?”
Lulu: “Why, what have you heard?”
