Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “All right, boys! The giant spiders have attacked! The moment we’ve been training for has finally arrived!”
Norman #1: “Sorry, what? Have we been training all these years to fight giant spiders?”
Spiders vs. Hedgehogs
Tag: ron burgundy
Spider Walk With Me
Unsolved Fishteries
Ron Burgundy: “So you’re the one who’s been cooking fish in the microwave!”
Charlee: “Well technically I’m just heating it up. It was cooked when we got it.”
Ron Burgundy: “Don’t try those Fox Mulder semantic games with me! Next you’ll be claiming it was aliens in UFOs!”
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Cooking With Magic
Fox Mulder: “… and so, the recent revelations about UFOs fully vindicate my longstanding belief that—”
Ron Burgundy: “Sure sure, Mr. Mulder, but what is your opinion on cooking fish tacos in the break room microwave?”
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Technology News Today
NASA Canasta
Senator #1: “Mr. Vizsla, are you sure we can’t get you some bottled water or a snack that’s not served in a dog food bowl?”
Dennis: “Well, since you’re offering …”
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Teen Point Five Million
Vermin: “HISSS! I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable traveling over all this water on a heavily laden magic flying coaster.”
Dennis: “Oh it’s fine! I’ve only got one more stop to make and I don’t think it’s very far.”
Vermin: “HISSS! All right, good! Where are we going?”
Dennis: “Burkina Faso.”
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All Ashore That’s Going Ashore
Jack Sparrow: “Land ho! Mr. Spicoli! Prepare to launch the ship’s tender!”
Spicoli: “The what now, dude?”
Jack Sparrow: “The small boat for going ashore! Savvy?”
Spicoli: “I don’t see anything like that on board, dude.”
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Secret Agent Marsupial
Secret Service Agent #1: “Okay, Vermin, here’s the deal. You help us defuse the hostage situation, and we’ll give you the mealworms that the ninja hedgehog terrorists think we’re giving them.”
Opossum: “HISSSS! Now you’re talking! But stop calling me Vermin!”
Secret Service Agent #2: “Would you prefer that we call you by your Secret Service code name?”
Opossum: “Ooh! I have a code name? What is it?”
Secret Service Agent #2: “‘Varmint.'”
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Die Hard With Opossum
Norman #1: “I disabled the wi-fi Norman.”
Norman #2:”Good work, Norman.”
Ron Burgundy: “This situation has gotten very, very serious.”
Producer Smurf: “No smurfing, really?”
Ron Burgundy: “Yes. I can’t post to Instagram or Twitter or live-stream to Facebook.”
Mouse: “Say, who’s the new ninja hedgehog?”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “That’s Norman. He has a cannon on his head.”
Mouse: “Really? Are you sure he didn’t just get his face stuck in a toilet paper roll?”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence!”
Opossum (thinking from inside air shaft): “HISSS! Come to the coast, there’ll be a debate, we’ll have a few laughs …”
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The World Stage
Russian Hacker: “Lord Putin, as you commanded, we have conducted a massive DDoS strike against the American internet, yet news of the dog’s faux paw continues to spread.”
Vladimir Putin: “I want that dog in the White House. Stage an attack to generate sympathy for him.”
Russian Hacker: “As you command, Lord Putin. By the way, did you see what we did there? ‘Faux paw’? Are we not so very clever?”
Vladimir Putin: “Yes. You are hilarious. Now if you will excuse me, I am about to crack some eggs so that my short order cook can make me an omelet.”
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The Oceanside Animals 