Charlee: “So what happens when we get to the top?”
Mr. Nibbles: “We stand on some boards and slide back to the bottom.”
Chaplin: “But highest cat wins. So once we get to the top, why wouldn’t we stay there?”
Vermin: “HISS! You’re all going the wrong way!”
Spicoli: “You saw Santa back there too, right, dude?”
Lulu: “Of course.”
Spicoli: “Okay, just checking.”
Producer Smurf: “Have you smurfed any dogs or cats or field mice or guinea pigs or opossums around here today?”
As has become a holiday tradition around here, this Christmas I am re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list. As usual, nothing went as planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”→
This Christmas I’m re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list. Needless to say, nothing went as Dennis planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”→
It is of course common knowledge that Dennis the Vizsla is permanently on the “Naughty” list. But what some of Dennis’s newer nice readers may not be aware of is exactly how he got on the “Naughty” list in the first place, way back in the mythical year 2009. Well, it’s a long story. And as so many long stories do where someone ends up on the “Naughty” list, this one starts with spiked eggnog …
Having been shuffled from department to department ever since the university switched from a regular college to a school of magic, I thought I had finally found a long-term home teaching Herbology. Unfortunately, the students seem to have it in for me, and lodge yet more complaints about my performance with the dean of the college, Santa. I mean, Dumbledore.
After being shuffled from Potions to Magical Creatures, I have tried to give the students the benefit of my extensive experience with various beasts and varmints unknown to the general muggle population. Unfortunately, it appears that the children are not interested in learning about such things, and I once again am summoned before Dean Santa to explain myself.
Having returned from my long sabbatical, I found the university I came back to is not the university that I left. In an effort to increase enrollment, the dean has changed it from an institute of higher learning into a school of magic. Although I was at first reluctant to teach in such an environment, a Christmas ham persuaded me to take a position as potions instructor. Little did I know that dark forces were conspiring against me …
After having made sure that the Toxic Avenger and the Creature from the Black Lagoon will be able to share their apartment without killing each other, I am now on my way back to the university to reclaim my office and get back to work in the anthropology department. However, upon reaching the campus, I discover that the school’s focus has changed dramatically …