Rest in peace, Professor Snape. Remember that one time Dennis the Vizsla subbed for your Potions class?
PS: Hey, cancer, that’s enough for one month.
Continue reading “Throwback Thursday II: RIP Alan Rickman”
Tag: saturday matinee
Quidditch
Having been shuffled from department to department ever since the university switched from a regular college to a school of magic, I thought I had finally found a long-term home teaching Herbology. Unfortunately, the students seem to have it in for me, and lodge yet more complaints about my performance with the dean of the college, Santa. I mean, Dumbledore.
Share this:
Herbology
After being shuffled from Potions to Magical Creatures, I have tried to give the students the benefit of my extensive experience with various beasts and varmints unknown to the general muggle population. Unfortunately, it appears that the children are not interested in learning about such things, and I once again am summoned before Dean Santa to explain myself.
Share this:
Magical Creatures
Having returned from my long sabbatical, I found the university I came back to is not the university that I left. In an effort to increase enrollment, the dean has changed it from an institute of higher learning into a school of magic. Although I was at first reluctant to teach in such an environment, a Christmas ham persuaded me to take a position as potions instructor. Little did I know that dark forces were conspiring against me …
Continue reading “Magical Creatures”
Share this:
Hairy Pupper and the Ball of Tennis
After having made sure that the Toxic Avenger and the Creature from the Black Lagoon will be able to share their apartment without killing each other, I am now on my way back to the university to reclaim my office and get back to work in the anthropology department. However, upon reaching the campus, I discover that the school’s focus has changed dramatically …
Continue reading “Hairy Pupper and the Ball of Tennis”
Share this:
Ba-Dum Ba-Dum Ba-Dum, Dum Da-Dum Dum Da-Dum, Dummmm
The Odd Couple
Having braved various traps and snares, dead ends, attitude-laden bouncers, and water slides, the Goonies and I finally reached the fabled pirate ship deep beneath the Goondocks; but no sooner did we discover the treasure than Ma Fratelli and her gang arrived to make us walk the plank. Not even the massively clawed Creature from the Black Lagoon dares raise a hand against the fearsome Ma, so it looks like we will be getting wet again, while the Fratellis make off with the pirate treasure. Or will they … ?
Continue reading “The Odd Couple”
Share this:
The Goon Squad
Having been unable to shake the amphibious creature that has latched onto our group, and having failed to convince it to eat that kid Data who wanted to put me in a cage, we have resolved to simply ignore it and continue trying to find our way to the pirate treasure. Unfortunately, after being plunged into the underground pool, we have become disoriented in the tunnels; but finally we find a shaft leading to the surface, which allows us to get our bearings. And also, perhaps, to get lunch.
Continue reading “The Goon Squad”
Share this:
Creature From The Black Lagoonies
Having accidentally messed up the keyboard line from “The Final Countdown”, the Goonies and I have found ourselves unceremoniously dumped onto a waterslide and plunged into a subterranean pool deep beneath the Goondocks. Given that the map promised us certain death if we failed to play the keyboard correctly, this is not such a bad fate … or is it?
Continue reading “Creature From The Black Lagoonies”
Share this:
The Doggies Never Say Die
Having found what may in fact be the entrance to the network of tunnels leading to pirate treasure, the Goonies and I have embarked on a dangerous journey of discovery and exploration in the fractured ground beneath the Goondocks. I am still skeptical that there is gold to be found here, but at least I have distracted that Data kid from his scheme to put me on display as a talking dog and sell tickets to slack-jawed spectators. Now I just have to find a way to get rid of him …
Continue reading “The Doggies Never Say Die”
Share this:
The Doggies
Having spent an indeterminate amount of time inside the bizarre world of the iPhone, I am not sure how long I’ve been gone from the University. Certainly it was long enough for everyone to depart Bushwood, because all my colleagues are gone and I am unable to find a ride back to campus. But, being a vizsla dog, I relish the opportunity to get a little exercise. Let the walkies begin!
Continue reading “The Doggies”
Share this:
Plants Vs. Kitties
Having spent too long trying to answer the conehead’s insanely difficult questions, I inadvertently allowed by nemesis app, TR0UB13, to catch up with me. Now I must defeat her in combat, or face the possibility of being trapped forever in the strange world of the iPhone. My only hope is that she slips up and picks a contest that I can win …
Continue reading “Plants Vs. Kitties”
Share this:
Conehead
Having finally reached the app who Yori claims will be able to send me back to the real world, it seems that my journey through the bizarre neon-colored realm of the iPhone is finally at an end. But apparently I must solve some riddles before I will be permitted to pass through whatever API will lead me home. If only the AT&T network was not so weak and congested here, I might be able to use Google to find the answers to the bizarre question posed to me by the mysterious old conehead who lives in a hole in the floor …
The Oceanside Animals 