Tag: saturday matinee

Jailbreak

Having been rescued from certain annihilation, TRON, YORI, and I have traveled to the most remote region of the iPhone in which I am trapped. They have promised to take me to someone who can help me escape this electronic prison and return me…

Mistake In Identity

Having narrowly escaped injury when the devious TR0UB13 forced my lightcycle to crash into the wall of the arena, I have now slipped through a gap in the firewall and made my way out into the open space beyond the iPhone sandbox. Unfortunately, TR0UB13…

Rerun: The Doghouse of Justice Returns

The Doghouse of Justice Returns (7/25/2009) When I last filed a dispatch, I was about to join the mysterious Doctor inside a dog house on the Planet Petco, where we hoped to hide from the fearsome Kongleks. But it turned out that this was…

Sábado Matinee

Barking Away

Here within the world of the iPhone, one never knows what to expect. Just moments ago I was abruptly transitioned from the Disc Match of Death to a mad race on light cycles through a grid-patterned course. But even in the iPhone, some things…

TROG Legacy

Having evidently been digitized by a bolt of lightning and bodily transferred into the iPhone, I now find myself in the curious position of being a dog in the body of a human — or rather, a computerized rendition of a human. Although this…

TROG

After unexpectedly earning the admiration of Ty Webb, I have had the good fortune to see my regular golf match turned into a Frisbee golf match, wherein the disadvantage presented by my lack of thumbs will be neutralized and my mad jumping and mouth-catching…

Puppyshack

Having returned last week from my long sojourn in space, only to discover that my position at the university has been eliminated and my office reassigned, I am now faced with the daunting task of winning back all that I have lost … by…

Back To Drool

Having finally vanquished Darth Tater, and serendipitously discovering a derelict Doghouse of Justice on Planet Petco, I have at last returned to Earth in triumph; but when I report in to Dr. Crowe, expecting a hero’s welcome, I learn some unexpected and disquieting facts…

May The Forks Be With You

After arriving at Earth just in time to prevent Darth Tater from mashing it, and then blasting my way through his army of drones, I find myself confronting Darth Tater himself in a one-on-one battle in space. I have flyball-honed reflexes and amazing paw-eye…

Revenge of the Starch

Having defeated the ace bowler Jesus Quintana in single combat, I earned the right to fly one of the Rylan Star League’s supposedly high-tech StarFighters. Unfortunately, it appears that while the StarFighter may have been high-tech 25 years ago, it is sadly outdated compared…

The Big Dogowski

Having been recruited by the mysterious Rylan Star League, I had expected to receive a starfighter and training in how to fly it, so that I can destroy my nemesis Darth Tater; but it turns out that the Rylan Star League, far from being…

Star League

Having been plucked from the vast Costco parking lot by the mysterious recruiter Centauri, I now find myself speeding through space toward a rendezvous with my destiny: To join the Rylan Star League, become a starfighter, and destroy Darth Tater. Fame and glory await!…

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