The Oceanside Animals
And their imaginary friends
Tag: Scams
You Must Ask The Right Questions
Spicoli: “So what have you been up to lately, dude?” Producer Smurf: “Why are you smurfing me that question? You smurf what I’ve been up to. You’ve been smurfing around Norway with me.” Bugs Bunny: “Oh you know, doc, the usual. Humiliating Elmer Fudd,…
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Do You Feel Lucky?
Dada’s Note: Literally the day we were going to make the call, Dennis suddenly bounced back, happily greeting us at the door with a wagging tail for the first time in days. Whether this is an effect of increased prednisone and his new biome…
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The Consulate of China
Spicoli: “Dude, did you steal your Dada’s phone again?” Dennis: “I never steal Dada’s phone. It’s just that sometimes people leave important messages on it for me and he never passes them along.” Mouse: “Fake calls from the IRS threatening lawsuits or from people…
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Point/Counter Point
Dennis: “Hello there! My name is Dennis the human person and I am here with my guinea pig/St. Bernard mix, which is my human person pet.” Mouse: “Mr. Nibbles, why are you going along with this when you know it’s going to be a…
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Overheard Around The House And Elsewhere
Vermin: “HISSS! I don’t know why they brought in these kittens when there’s already a perfectly good grey and white cat hanging around.” Mouse: “But, ‘Dennis’, I don’t see a grey and white ‘cat’ anywhere. Do you?” Charlee: “A talking field mouse. / A…
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It’s A Blast
Dennis: “I don’t see why my box of meat has to be in the blast chamber. It’s just meat.” Ambassador: “Bob said so and Bob is the expert.” Vermin: “HISSS! Stupid big dog! Why are you complaining? If the crate has a bomb in…
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Embassytown
Ambassador: “Welcome to the American Embassy, Mr. Vizsla and, uh, whatever that other thing is.” Dennis: “I was kind of hoping we would end up at the Blogville embassy …” Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty diplomat! I am a vizsla too! Can’t you tell by my…
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Teen Point Five Million
Vermin: “HISSS! I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable traveling over all this water on a heavily laden magic flying coaster.” Dennis: “Oh it’s fine! I’ve only got one more stop to make and I don’t think it’s very far.” Vermin: “HISSS! All right, good!…
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The Chicago Way
Dennis: “There sure is a lot of whooping and clanging going on back at the bank.” Vermin: “HISSS! Oh it’s just the cops. Nothing to worry about. Where are we going next?” Dennis: “Chicago. Dada has an unclaimed box full of money in a…
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Have Some Big Cash
Dennis: “Okay, here we are in Washington, DC! Now what do we do?” Vermin: “HISSS! Now we get your money, silly dog! Just give me your photo ID and I will go inside and get to work.” Dennis: “I haven’t got a photo ID….
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Observed Around The House
Mouse: “Dennis, why do you have your mama’s laptop?” Dennis: “Well since we’ve had a lot of extra expenses lately with my surgery and my heart and stuff, I thought I’d try to help out by earning some green papers again.” Mouse: “What do…
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WD-40oz To Freedom
K9: “Doctor, Dennis is here with the device you wanted to examine.” Ninth Doctor: “Thank you, K9. Good dog.” Dennis: “Aaaaaiiiiieee! Loud! Loud! Lou―hey, is that food?”
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Secret Agent Marsupial
Secret Service Agent #1: “Okay, Vermin, here’s the deal. You help us defuse the hostage situation, and we’ll give you the mealworms that the ninja hedgehog terrorists think we’re giving them.” Opossum: “HISSSS! Now you’re talking! But stop calling me Vermin!” Secret Service Agent #2:…
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Hipsters, Lulu, & Company
Thank you Petcretary Ingrid of Meezer’s Mews & Terrieristical Woofs!
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