Tag: Scams

Live Free and Snack Hard

Chaplin: “Thank you for the elevenses, Mr. Baggins. It was delicious.” Bilbo Baggins: “You’re welcome! Are you sure you got enough to eat? There’s still plenty of food left.” Chaplin: “I know, but it’s mostly fruit. That stuff will kill you.”

You Must Ask The Right Questions

Spicoli: “So what have you been up to lately, dude?” Producer Smurf: “Why are you smurfing me that question? You smurf what I’ve been up to. You’ve been smurfing around Norway with me.” Bugs Bunny: “Oh you know, doc, the usual. Humiliating Elmer Fudd,… Continue Reading “You Must Ask The Right Questions”

Do You Feel Lucky?

Dada’s Note: Literally the day we were going to make the call, Dennis suddenly bounced back, happily greeting us at the door with a wagging tail for the first time in days. Whether this is an effect of increased prednisone and his new biome… Continue Reading “Do You Feel Lucky?”

The Consulate of China

Spicoli: “Dude, did you steal your Dada’s phone again?” Dennis: “I never steal Dada’s phone. It’s just that sometimes people leave important messages on it for me and he never passes them along.” Mouse: “Fake calls from the IRS threatening lawsuits or from people… Continue Reading “The Consulate of China”

Point/Counter Point

Dennis: “Hello there! My name is Dennis the human person and I am here with my guinea pig/St. Bernard mix, which is my human person pet.” Mouse: “Mr. Nibbles, why are you going along with this when you know it’s going to be a… Continue Reading “Point/Counter Point”

Overheard Around The House And Elsewhere

Vermin: “HISSS! I don’t know why they brought in these kittens when there’s already a perfectly good grey and white cat hanging around.” Mouse: “But, ‘Dennis’, I don’t see a grey and white ‘cat’ anywhere. Do you?” Charlee: “A talking field mouse. / A… Continue Reading “Overheard Around The House And Elsewhere”

It’s A Blast

Dennis: “I don’t see why my box of meat has to be in the blast chamber. It’s just meat.” Ambassador: “Bob said so and Bob is the expert.” Vermin: “HISSS! Stupid big dog! Why are you complaining? If the crate has a bomb in… Continue Reading “It’s A Blast”

Embassytown

Ambassador: “Welcome to the American Embassy, Mr. Vizsla and, uh, whatever that other thing is.” Dennis: “I was kind of hoping we would end up at the Blogville embassy …” Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty diplomat! I am a vizsla too! Can’t you tell by my… Continue Reading “Embassytown”

Teen Point Five Million

Vermin: “HISSS! I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable traveling over all this water on a heavily laden  magic flying coaster.” Dennis: “Oh it’s fine! I’ve only got one more stop to make and I don’t think it’s very far.” Vermin: “HISSS! All right, good!… Continue Reading “Teen Point Five Million”

The Chicago Way

Dennis: “There sure is a lot of whooping and clanging going on back at the bank.” Vermin: “HISSS! Oh it’s just the cops. Nothing to worry about. Where are we going next?” Dennis: “Chicago. Dada has an unclaimed box full of money in a… Continue Reading “The Chicago Way”

Have Some Big Cash

Dennis: “Okay, here we are in Washington, DC! Now what do we do?” Vermin: “HISSS! Now we get your money, silly dog! Just give me your photo ID and I will go inside and get to work.” Dennis: “I haven’t got a photo ID.… Continue Reading “Have Some Big Cash”

Observed Around The House

Mouse: “Dennis, why do you have your mama’s laptop?” Dennis: “Well since we’ve had a lot of extra expenses lately with my surgery and my heart and stuff, I thought I’d try to help out by earning some green papers again.” Mouse: “What do… Continue Reading “Observed Around The House”

WD-40oz To Freedom

K9: “Doctor, Dennis is here with the device you wanted to examine.” Ninth Doctor: “Thank you, K9. Good dog.” Dennis: “Aaaaaiiiiieee! Loud! Loud! Lou―hey, is that food?”

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