Lulu: “Mr. Scrooge, here’s that potted plant that we owe the® Knights who say ‘Ni’ for using their trademarked word ‘the®’.”
Scrooge: “You can’t just barge in here. I’m meeting with other clients. Bah, humbug.”
Lulu: “All right, so say we get you a potted cactus. What then?”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Then you deliver the® cactus to our attorney’s office. Here is his card.”
Lulu: “I know where Scrooge’s office is. I was there not long ago looking into suing the® cats to get my boxes back from them.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Ooooohhh! An even more hopeless task than challenging the® Knights who say ‘Ni’!”
Ninja Hedgehogs: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”
Chaplin: “Tell you what, we’ll take you to meet the creator of the SmurfCoin in exchange for these cans of tuna in your tackle box.”
Swordfish: “It’s not a tackle box, it’s a—”
Charlee: “Yeah yeah yeah, it’s a hacker’s toolkit, I know. Do we have a deal or what?”
Chaplin: “What are you two looking at?”
Lulu: “Apparently someone scuttled a container ship in the Port of San Diego and it’s causing all kinds of trade problems.”
Chaplin: “The Port of San Diego? Isn’t that where we just were?”
Charlee: “No. Repeat after me: We were at Pier 1 shopping for patio furniture.”
Lulu: “Psst! Chaplin! We’re here to rescue you!”
Chaplin: “Rescue me? I don’t need to be rescued. I’m scamming all kinds of free food down here.”
Charlee: “But the ship is mostly underwater. If the windows in that room start to leak, you might get wet.”
Seagull: “What’s wrong with water? I love water! Love it! Love it!”
Captain Yosemite Sam: “Sinking while at the pier in the harbor! Consarn it! I’m never going to live this one down!”
Chaplin: “Can you explain this wi-fi password concept to us one more time?”
Captain Yosemite Sam: “I already illustrated it for you varmints with Ritz crackers, pieces of biscotti, potato chips, and a charcuterie plate! You’re just incapable of understanding it!”
Seagull: “Once more! Just once more! Maybe with rice cakes! With rice cakes!”
Chaplin: “Eww, no, not with rice cakes.”
Seagull: “Did I say rice cakes? I meant French fries! French fries! French fries!”
Batman: “So tell me, have you ever considered adding cat ears to your uniform?”
Uhura: “Captain, we’ve locked onto the target destination for Josie and the Pussycats. Also, requesting permission to smack Batman upside the head.”
Captain Kirk: “Permission granted. Scotty, beam our guests down after Uhura smacks Batman.”
Norman #1: “I sure hope Norman doesn’t find out about this, Norman.”
Norman #2: “I won’t tell if you don’t, Norman.”
Lulu: “Listen, while you’re at it, I could use a good bristle brushing, too.”
Norman #2: “We’re ninja hedgehogs, not hairdressers. We don’t carry bristle brushes around.”
Lulu: “Well I have an idea about that …”
Mouse: “Chaplin, are you familiar with the term ‘fence’ … ?”
Chaplin: “Of course. Lulu complains about the fence all the time. She says it keeps her from chasing the squirrels that live on the hillside.”
Mama: “Lulu, did you steal this plastic drain cleaner?”
Lulu: “The what now?”
Chaplin: “Thank you for the elevenses, Mr. Baggins. It was delicious.”
Bilbo Baggins: “You’re welcome! Are you sure you got enough to eat? There’s still plenty of food left.”
Chaplin: “I know, but it’s mostly fruit. That stuff will kill you.”
Continue reading “Live Free and Snack Hard”
Spicoli: “So what have you been up to lately, dude?”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you smurfing me that question? You smurf what I’ve been up to. You’ve been smurfing around Norway with me.”
Bugs Bunny: “Oh you know, doc, the usual. Humiliating Elmer Fudd, thwarting aliens, getting locked up. You?”
Spicoli: “Snacking.”
Chaplin: “I have a question for you, Troll Wizard.”
Troll Wizard: “Shoot.”
Continue reading “You Must Ask The Right Questions”
The Oceanside Animals 