Tag: Scams

There’s No Crunch Like Home

Charlee: “Why were you so surprised to see us at the Santopticon when you came with us on the Magic Flying Coaster?”
Producer Smurf: “I couldn’t really hear or see from in the Bumble. I was watching the feed from my robot and had no idea we had actually smurfed to the North Pole.”
Charlee: “Then how did you manage to catch all those fish that you had inside the Bumble’s stockings, if you couldn’t see?”
Producer Smurf: “Those were already there when I smurfed it open-box from Costco. It’s probably why the original buyer resmurfed it.”

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Christmas Break

Charlee: “The most bizarre aspect of this is Spicoli being right all along about Bumble being Producer Smurf.”
Producer Smurf: “Well I hope you’re happy! You’ve ruined everything! This was going to be the most smurfy prison break/Christmas movie mashup ever and instead all I have is a deflated Bumble balloon that I can’t even smurf back to Costco!”
Mouse: “Let me guess. You thought of the name ‘Christmas Break’ for your movie and worked backwards from there to come up with a plot.”

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That’s A Suspiciously Specific Denial You’ve Got There

Lulu: “So this whole time you’ve just been Producer Smurf in disguise trying to trick us into filming some kind of crime show?”
Java Bean: “You got us arrested by Santa for no good reason! Although I have to say that Santa runs una prisión muy elegante.”
Art Deco: “I can categorically state that I am not Producer Smurf in disguise.”

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Ho Ho Ho Whodunit

Officer Nick: “Up to your old ‘Christmas Magic’ tricks again, eh, Arthur?”
Art Deco: “You got nothin’ on me, Officer Nick! Not one shred of evidence!”

Officer Nick: “I think I have a little bit of evidence. Ho ho ho.”
Art Deco: “It’s a fair cop.”

Time And Relative Dimensions In Stuffies

Java Bean: “Vermin pointed out that you didn’t actually say there was no such place as Stuffiland. You just said the smurf didn’t get the prizes from there.”
Mouse: “Please don’t tell me you’re taking advice from Vermin these days.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty mouse! Stop calling me Vermin! And they could do worse than to take advice from me!”
Mouse: “Yes, that’s true, they could be taking advice from Dennis or Trouble.”

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What Is The Dynamic Duo?

Norman #3: “That’s the most ridiculous superhero outfit I’ve ever seen.”
Norman #2: “Well, now, remember that time Batman’s GPS went wonky and he showed up in our cave and he was wearing that suit with the nipples on it?”
Java Bean: “So, ninja hedgehogs! I bet you didn’t expect to run into a brand new crime-fighting duo today!”
Norman #4: “Which one of you is Supermutt and which one is Exotic Lulu?”
Norman #1: “Nice job phrasing your answer in the form of a question, Norman!”

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Overheard Around The House

Producer Smurf (on phone): “Yeah, no, I didn’t smurf away any of the prizes … I just kept smurfing stuff up about judges’ rulings and whatnot and everyone smurfed it. Pretty smurfy, right? Anyway I’ll smurf the stuff to the village and we can make a bundle smurfing it to those shirtless rubes.”

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Here Comes The Raid Again

Norman #1: “Look, Norman, the door is closed.”
Norman #2: “How do we usually get in for raiding when the door is closed?”
Norman #4: “I think we use ninja trickery, skills, and subterfuge.”

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Party Planning Plan B

Lulu: “So, Producer Smurf, do you have a status report?”
Producer Smurf: “They finally smurfed the food, but they somehow smurfed all around the potion and left it in a puddle in the bottom of their bowls!”

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Party Planning Problems

Lulu: “Now, the first thing we need to do is get the Hipsters out of the way so we can decorate.”
Producer Smurf: “That doesn’t smurf so hard. Just smurf for them to smurf asleep and then smurf the decorations.”

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On The Tenth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Visit To A Corrupt Attorney

Lulu: “Mr. Scrooge, here’s that potted plant that we owe the® Knights who say ‘Ni’ for using their trademarked word ‘the®’.”
Scrooge: “You can’t just barge in here. I’m meeting with other clients. Bah, humbug.”

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On The® Ninth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Potted Cactus For Delivery

Lulu: “All right, so say we get you a potted cactus. What then?”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Then you deliver the® cactus to our attorney’s office. Here is his card.”
Lulu: “I know where Scrooge’s office is. I was there not long ago looking into suing the® cats to get my boxes back from them.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Ooooohhh! An even more hopeless task than challenging the® Knights who say ‘Ni’!”
Ninja Hedgehogs: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”

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