On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Somebody I’ll Call Mini-Ni

Mini Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “You’re all going to regret this!”

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On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Cat Engaged In Some Thievery

Ninja Hedgehog Potted Cactus: “Put me down!”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “It’s a nice cactus. The spines aren’t too poky and it talks. I shall put it on a sunny shelf.”
Chaplin: “Unhand my pineapple, you … Wait, what was that about a sunny shelf?”
Charlee: “I can totally jump high enough to get that herring.”

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On The Tenth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Visit To A Corrupt Attorney

Lulu: “Mr. Scrooge, here’s that potted plant that we owe the® Knights who say ‘Ni’ for using their trademarked word ‘the®’.”
Scrooge: “You can’t just barge in here. I’m meeting with other clients. Bah, humbug.”

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Classic Dennis: The War on Santa

As has become a holiday tradition around here, this Christmas I am re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list, while Trixie tried to keep everything from going off the rails. As usual, nothing went as planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”

Squatters’ Rights

Scrooge: “So you say you have a problem with squatters?”
Lulu: “Yes, that’s right.”
Scrooge: “Have you tried barking at them?”
Lulu: “Well I can’t really bark at them. They do live in the house with me.”
Spicoli: “Dude, I just noticed that none of these books are law books.”

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CSI: The Mealworm Vats

Ninja Hedgehog: “Hey, Vermin, somebody’s here to see you. But keep stirring the mealworm vat.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I told you, my name is Jill! If you keep calling me Vermin, I’m reporting you to Animal Resources!”

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Classic Dennis: The War on Santa

Christmas_2020

Charlee: “So what happens when we get to the top?”
Mr. Nibbles: “We stand on some boards and slide back to the bottom.”
Chaplin: “But highest cat wins. So once we get to the top, why wouldn’t we stay there?”
Mouse: “Gravity.”
Vermin: “HISS! You’re all going the wrong way!”
Spicoli: “You saw Santa back there too, right, dude?”
Lulu: “Of course.”
Spicoli: “Okay, just checking.”
Producer Smurf: “Have you smurfed any dogs or cats or field mice or guinea pigs or opossums around here today?”

As has become a holiday tradition around here, this Christmas I am re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list. As usual, nothing went as planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”

Classic Dennis: The War on Santa

Christmas_2019 Online

This Christmas I’m re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list. Needless to say, nothing went as Dennis planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”

Full Court Press

Mouse: “How is it that with all the money you have flying around you, you can never manage to convince the court that they don’t have jurisdiction over animals?”
Scrooge: “It’s their ridiculous names. ‘Dennis’? ‘Charlee’? ‘Chaplin’? These are not proper pet names. What ever happened to ‘Spot’ and ‘Frisky’ and ‘Whiskers’? Bah humbug.”
Vermin: “HISS! I’m telling you, you’re in the wrong place! When you get served, it’s a dance-off!”
Charlee: “Why are you hiding behind this sign, Spicoli?”
Spicoli: “I’ve got warrants, dude. I don’t want the fuzz to see me.”

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In Memoriam

Mr. Nibbles: “You look like you have a question, friend Hipsters.”
Chaplin: “We don’t understand why we’re having a party for Dennis but he isn’t here for it.”
Spicoli: “Oh, little dudes, this isn’t a party. It’s a memorial service. And that’s how memorial services work. You know, just like the ones for Trouble and Tucker and Trixie.”

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The Naughty List

It is of course common knowledge that Dennis the Vizsla is permanently on the “Naughty” list. But what some of Dennis’s newer nice readers may not be aware of is exactly how he got on the “Naughty” list in the first place, way back in the mythical year 2009. Well, it’s a long story. And as so many long stories do where someone ends up on the “Naughty” list, this one starts with spiked eggnog …

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