Sea Legs

Chaplin: “Can you explain this wi-fi password concept to us one more time?”
Captain Yosemite Sam: “I already illustrated it for you varmints with Ritz crackers, pieces of biscotti, potato chips, and a charcuterie plate! You’re just incapable of understanding it!”
Seagull: “Once more! Just once more! Maybe with rice cakes! With rice cakes!”
Chaplin: “Eww, no, not with rice cakes.”
Seagull: “Did I say rice cakes? I meant French fries! French fries! French fries!”

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Why Fi?

Captain Yosemite Sam: “Listen, cat! Wi-Fi is a precious commodity! If I give out the password, there’ll be less wi-fi for m! And I’m the Captain, so I need all the wi-fi! Understand?”
Chaplin: “Not really. Maybe you could demonstrate it. Say, with a bowl of crackers?”

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Steve Who?

Charlee: “This is the worst-organized store I’ve ever seen.”
Lulu: “Are you sure this is Pier One?”
GPS: “BING! Of course I’m sure. I’m connected to satellites and stuff.”
Seagull: “What about bits of bread? Have you got any bits of bread?”
Chaplin: “Do I look like I would have bits of bread?”
Seagull: “Everyone looks like they would have bits of bread.”

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Pier What?

Chaplin: “So where do we have to go to get this meat-based patio furniture?”
Lulu: “I’m not sure, the picture didn’t say. I figure we can start at Pier One. They sell patio furniture.”
Charlee: “Makes sense. Should we take Dada’s car or the Magic Flying Coaster?”
Lulu: “Well, Dada’s car is kind of slow these days, and the Magic Flying Coaster has limited cargo capacity. But I have a plan.”

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to the viking fest i meen edward sissorhands howse i meen la jolla!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel after a luvly meel and dessert at the casa wot bandini bilt wot wuz also attended by a misteeryus mango minster shirt waring fan of mine hoo kind of lukd like my dada “flat stanley” told me we wer off to the vista viking festival!!! vikings in kalifornya hoo noo but chek it owt!!!

Dennis_Stanley_Vikings

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to the casa wot bandini bilt!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel we hav departed frum the oshunside harbor with owr kargo of abandond seefood traps and hav deliverd it to the faymus meksikan restawrant casa de bandini so now “flat stanley” and i ar at owr taybel eeting komplimentary homemayd torteeyah chips and salsa and preetending to be hyoomans chek it owt!!!

Dennis_Stanley_Casa_De_Bandini_1

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to the harbor!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel having had a bit of a skayr in the mithikal mowntin town of julian dooring wich it wuz verry dark and we wer likely to be eeten by a groo “flat stanley” and i hav now traveld bak to the relativ sayfty of the oshunside harbor!!!

Dennis_Stanley_Harbor_1

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mama and dada went to see wurld and all i got wuz nuthing!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wile dadas mama and dada were heer visitting they all got to go owt and see the wunderful sites of suthern kalifornya inklooding see wurld in the mithikal sitty of sandy eggo and wot did i git to do??? i got to stay home!!! but of korse beeing a verry enterpizing set of dogs we konspired to partisipayt despite beeing lokd in the howse with no car keys chek it owt!!!

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wen life hands yoo lemons or emty kitty litter bags yoo mayk lemonayd!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel as i am shoor yoo ar all awayr my sister trouble the kitty went away a fyoo weeks ago thus interrupting my eksplorayshun of the misteeryus sivilizayshun off the koast of kalifornya having mayd my way bak to the maynland to attend her memoryal serviss and the reeding of the wil i am now attemting to finans a reeturn trip to the abandond iland of catalinatlantis!!! how am i dooing that yoo ask??? wel lets just say it is capitalizm at its finast!!!

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The Last Will and Testament of Trouble the Kitty

Continue reading “The Last Will and Testament of Trouble the Kitty”