My Cup Runneth Empty

Charlee: “We were just kidding about the stink. You smell terrific.”
Skunk: “Yeah? What terrific thing do I smell like?”
Spicoli: “Patchouli. Or maybe pizza. Or maybe pizza with patchouli on top.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Like freshly roasted ticks!”
Lulu: “Like something I found in the yard that I want to roll in.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Like a fresh load of wood chips in the bottom of a guinea pig pen.”
Mouse: “Like cheese. But not the stinky kind.”
Producer Smurf: “Like Papa Smurf’s beard!”
Chaplin: “Like the inside of an ice cream cup that’s been on somebody’s head for a while.”
Skunk: “You are such a bunch of liars.”

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Woodland Creatures

Producer Smurf: “So, fellow woodland creature, what smurfs you into the house for a visit?”
Skunk: “I was invited in for cat food. Also, you may. not be aware of this, but it’s not exactly a woodland around these parts.”
Chaplin: “Why are you calling Charlee a ‘woodland creature’? Cats are from the desert.”

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My Cousin Pepe

Skunk: “Got a container stuck on your head, huh? Tough break.”
Chaplin: “I already told you, it’s not stuck, there’s just a little bit of food still in it that I have gotten yet.”

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The Ice Cream Cup Of Shame

Lulu: “Why are you wearing a Cone of Shame? Were you biting yourself or something?”
Chaplin: “It’s not a Cone of Shame. Cones of Shame are for dogs. It’s an ice cream cup with cat food smeared on the inside.”

Lulu: “All right, but why are you wearing it on your head?”
Chaplin: “Because I didn’t get all the cat food out of it yet.”

Lulu: “Doesn’t that make it hard to see? Aren’t you afraid you’ll bump into something?”
Chaplin: “No. I don’t need eyes and ears to find my way around. I have other preternatural cat senses.”
Lulu: “Such as?”
Chaplin: “Finely tuned and highly sensitive whiskers, for one.”

Lulu: “You do realize your finely tuned and highly sensitive whiskers are also inside the cup, right?”
Chaplin: “I said FOR ONE.”

Later …

Let Yer Pirate Flag Fly!

Charlee: “Hello everyone! Charlee here! Or should I call myself ‘Chaaaarrrrlee’?”
Chaplin: “No, you shouldn’t. Talk Like a Pirate Day is over.”
Charlee: “But I’m talking about Talk Like a Pirate Day. So there. Anyway, I just wanted to thank our friends at 15AndMeowing where my comment on their Talk Like a Pirate Day post won the drawing for a prize!”

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Chaplin: “What is that? Is that an envelope full of loot?”
Charlee: “It is an envelope full of loot. And it’s all mine!”
Chaplin: “You mean ours, right?”
Charlee: “Well, I’m the one with the pirate name, and my name is first, so I think it’s mine.”
Lulu: “But there’s a picture of a dog on the address label, so I think maybe it’s for me, right?”
Chaplin: “Ha ha ha ha no.”
Lulu: “Can I at least shred it open for you, then?”
Charlee: “Also no. I will have Dada do that for me. He’s not as, uh, enthusiastic about taking paper apart as you are.”
Chaplin: “All right already, let’s find out what’s inside!”

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Charlee: “Ahoy mateys! It’s a pirate flag! For my pirate ship!”
Chaplin: “You don’t have a pirate ship.”
Charlee: “Not yet. But now I have to get one.”
Lulu: “Pirate ship flags are supposed to be tattered, right? Do you want me to tatter it for you?”
Charlee: “No.”

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Drink up me hearties, meow, meow!

Charlee: “Hey look there’s something else inside!”

 

Charlee: “It’s a signed picture book called I Am Not A Skunk! Thank you, 15AndMeowing!”
Chaplin: “Hmm you’re right, Charlee, this is all yours, since you’re the one around here who looks like a skunk!”
Charlee: “What? You’re a black and white cat too!”
Chaplin: “True. But I’m not the one with a white stripe on my back whose nickname is ‘Skunk’.”

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Lulu: “Looks like a fair cop to me, Skunk.”
Charlee: “You hush, Coyote.”

What Else Is In A (Nick) Name?

Years ago, after confusing our vet by referring to Trouble the Kitty as “Trudy”, I did a post listing all the various nicknames for all our various animals. Dennis was a relatively new addition at the time, and didn’t have very many nicknames; now he has more, although many are just variations of the same one. (Of course, it’s likely that no one will ever have as many nicknames as Tucker did.) And the Hipster Kitties have already acquired a few themselves. So for everyone’s edification, here’s the current set of nicknames to which the animals may or may not answer.

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Overheard Around The House

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we interrupt wurdless wensday to bring yoo a speshul messadj frum mama!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay i no that yoozhually on wensday i post sumthing wot duznt hav enny wurds in it however this week mama askd me to post this notiss as it affekts all my dog frends heer in kalifornya espeshly my dog frends wot hav medical kondishuns like tucker duz!!! so tayk it away mama!!!

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We Interrupt Wordless Wednesday To Bring You The Saga Of The Possibly Rabid Skunk Part Deux

As you may recall, on Sunday we had about a two-hour daylight visit from a skunk that was mostly just lying there like a lump, but that occasionally stirred itself to stumble around a bit.  By the time we got someone to come out to collect it — or more accurately, to explain that he was not under contract to collect it — it had disappeared.  Monday we had torrential rain and howling wind all day, and the skunk did not put in a reappearance.  Yesterday it turned up again.  To quote Monty Python, “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it — it’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it.”

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