The Santopticon

Art Deco: “You dogs are taking this whole imprisonment thing pretty calmly.”
Lulu: “Well we’ve been in dungeons before. Most of them don’t have fleecy blankets like this one does.”

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Test Your Smoke Detector

Chaplin: “We don’t really know what happened. There was a guy who looked like Santa, but dressed all in blue instead of red. He arrested this gnome who looked like Substitute Charlee.”
Charlee: “There is no substitute for the real Charlee. FYI.”
Spicoli: “Dressed all in blue? Hmm …”

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Arachnids in the Kitchen

Lulu: “Listen, I appreciate that you’re probably not going to eat most of us, but I do have to ask you to take your hibachi outside.”
Huntsman Spider: “But why, mate? I’m cooking in the kitchen. The kitchen is where cooking is done, right? That’s how we do it Down Under, anyway.”
Lulu: “Yes that’s true, but not when you’re cooking with charcoal and making all kinds of smoke.”

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Butterfly Board Room

Lulu: “I suppose you’re all wondering why I called you here—”
Vermin: “HISSS! No we are not! It’s because of all the nasty moths and butterflies!”
Spicoli: “Oh, all of you dudes can see them too? Whew, that’s a relief!”

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Retrograde Amnesia

Dennis: “Okay, let me make sure I’ve got this straight. You’re James Bond, you’ve never seen me before, and this is 1986.”
James Bond: “Correct on all counts.”
Mouse: “Of course he’s never seen you before, Dennis. You met him over thirty years in his future.”
Dennis: “Right, but why didn’t his future self say anything about having met me before? I mean, people usually remember me.”

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I Say We Take Off And Nuke The Site From Orbit


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brush fire!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel this is kalifornya and it is late summer and yoo no wot that meens it meens brush fires!!! we had nine of them heer friday nite just after midnite wun of witch wuz verry neer owr howse!!! ennyway it wuz reely layt and evrywun wuz asleep wen the fone rang and owr naybors told us their wuz a fire on the hil behind the howse and that we shood pak up and prepayr to leeve!!! dada beeing not too swift with the kamera and also haff asleep did not think to tayk a pikcher of the glow and the smoke wot wuz billowing into the air just a fyoo hunnerd yards away frum the howse so i hav attempted to reekreayt wot it lukd like in this illustrayshun chek it owt!!!

artists rendishun of almost eksaktly the way it happend!!! verbaytim!!!

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mary krismas!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay as yoo may remember sandy klawz and i hav had owr diffrenses in the past but i sent him a smooth tawking letter and we hav berreed the hatchit he even sent me a prezzent chek it owt!!!

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kwiett big meeting in progress!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel if yoo wer heer yesterday then yoo no that the noo owner of my blog calld us all to his offiss for a big meeting i wunder wot he wants!!! lets find owt!!!

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hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel owr trip to dennis massachewsits has run into a bit of a snag on akkownt of a krooz ship beeing ware it shudnt hav ben but we ar finaly mayking progress chek it owt!!!

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