Tag: smurfs

There’s No Crunch Like Home

Charlee: “Why were you so surprised to see us at the Santopticon when you came with us on the Magic Flying Coaster?”
Producer Smurf: “I couldn’t really hear or see from in the Bumble. I was watching the feed from my robot and had no idea we had actually smurfed to the North Pole.”
Charlee: “Then how did you manage to catch all those fish that you had inside the Bumble’s stockings, if you couldn’t see?”
Producer Smurf: “Those were already there when I smurfed it open-box from Costco. It’s probably why the original buyer resmurfed it.”

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Christmas Break

Charlee: “The most bizarre aspect of this is Spicoli being right all along about Bumble being Producer Smurf.”
Producer Smurf: “Well I hope you’re happy! You’ve ruined everything! This was going to be the most smurfy prison break/Christmas movie mashup ever and instead all I have is a deflated Bumble balloon that I can’t even smurf back to Costco!”
Mouse: “Let me guess. You thought of the name ‘Christmas Break’ for your movie and worked backwards from there to come up with a plot.”

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That’s A Suspiciously Specific Denial You’ve Got There

Lulu: “So this whole time you’ve just been Producer Smurf in disguise trying to trick us into filming some kind of crime show?”
Java Bean: “You got us arrested by Santa for no good reason! Although I have to say that Santa runs una prisión muy elegante.”
Art Deco: “I can categorically state that I am not Producer Smurf in disguise.”

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The Cone Zone

Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “So you smurf it was your Mama who smurfed you in that neck brace?”
Java Bean: “Yes, because I wouldn’t stop licking my foot.”
Mouse: “You’re not really going to sue your Mama, are you, Bean?”
Java Bean: “I’m not really sure what suing Mama even means. I just thought it sounded fun to chase ambulances.”
Producer Smurf: “We’re not actually going to smurf after ambulances, Bean. You shouldn’t smurf everything so literally.”

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Better Call Small

Java Bean: “So the person who put me in this neck brace should have to give me green papers?”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “That’s correct. We will smurf them for all they’re worth and then some!”
Producer Smurf: “You smurf ’em, Ambulance Chaser Smurf!”

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Black Bean Thoughts

Dada’s Note: Bean’s foot is feeling better and he’s no longer wearing the neck brace or cone. But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to milk it for all it’s worth.

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Extraordinary Claims …

Mouse: “All right, so, you claim that you three versions of Lulu, Chaplin, and Bean are from an alternate dimension?”
Lulu: “That’s correct.”

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When The Birthday Dog’s Away

Dada’s Note: According to Bean’s paperwork from the shelter, his birthday is August 10th, 2021, making him one year old today! Since he is of course off exploring the Multiverse with Lulu and Chaplin, his party has been unavoidably delayed …

Mr. Nibbles: “Aren’t you tired of sitting in that box yet, Charlee?”
Charlee: “I don’t even understand what that means.”
Blue: “I object to the portrayal of dinosaurs on that birthday banner.”
Mouse: “But not the ones in the ‘Jurassic Park’ movies?”
Blue: “I get residuals for those.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do we have to wait for Bean before we have cake?”
Spicoli: “Because it’s Bean’s birthday, dude. Plus the baker’s not finished making it.”
Producer Smurf: “Greedy Smurf! How much longer until the cake is ready?”
Greedy Smurf: “I have to start over! I smurfed a sample taste and ended up smurfing the whole thing!”

Happy first birthday to the Bean!

What Is The Dynamic Duo?

Norman #3: “That’s the most ridiculous superhero outfit I’ve ever seen.”
Norman #2: “Well, now, remember that time Batman’s GPS went wonky and he showed up in our cave and he was wearing that suit with the nipples on it?”
Java Bean: “So, ninja hedgehogs! I bet you didn’t expect to run into a brand new crime-fighting duo today!”
Norman #4: “Which one of you is Supermutt and which one is Exotic Lulu?”
Norman #1: “Nice job phrasing your answer in the form of a question, Norman!”

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Overheard Around The House

Producer Smurf (on phone): “Yeah, no, I didn’t smurf away any of the prizes … I just kept smurfing stuff up about judges’ rulings and whatnot and everyone smurfed it. Pretty smurfy, right? Anyway I’ll smurf the stuff to the village and we can make a bundle smurfing it to those shirtless rubes.”

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