Charlee: “It seems like the thing to do will be to go to the ninja hedgehog lair and ask them to give Chaplin back.”
Spicoli: “What makes you think the hedgehogs will give him back instead of keeping him as a hostage, dude?”
Charlee: “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘The Ransom of Red Chief‘?”
Mouse: “So Chaplin left you to watch his ill-gotten loot.”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Spicoli: “So long, 2020! Nobody’s going to miss you!”
Lulu: “I think we need more explosives.”
Chaplin: “Lulu was telling me how she gets treats for turning in things she steals, like Mama’s glasses or shoes, so I figured I would get in on the action.”
Mr. Nibbles: “But how did you steal this much stuff? And where did you steal it from? I mean, I know your house is a little cluttered, but I’ve never seen any of these things around.”
Spicoli: “Dibs on the PlayStation!”
Lulu: “Hello friendlies! Lulu here! We are pre-empting the Caturday Matinee this week to present the Paper Bob Holiday 2020 Coloring Contest!”
Chaplin: “Who’s Paper Bob? Is he like Flat Stanley?”
Charlee: “I hope not. The last time Flat Stanley showed up, he stole a car and took Dennis on a car chase all around Southern California.“
Lulu: “I don’t think Paper Bob is anything like Flat Stanley. See, Mama and Dada bought some flour and stuff mail order from Bob’s Red Mill and there was a coloring contest included in the package. I got hold of it and I thought it would be fun for us animals to do something with Paper Bob.”
Chaplin: “You mean like eat him?”
Lulu: “Uh, no. Well, maybe we can do that later. But first I thought we could have our own contest where we all make a little picture with Paper Bob, and then we let the judges review them.”
Charlee: “What judges?”
Lulu: “Oh I found some names in Dennis’s old Rolodex. Okay, I’ll start.”
Today we’d like to wish a happy birthday to our Lulu girl! According to the paperwork from the shelter, her previous owners listed her birthday as 12/17/2015.
Lulu: “Have you seen the Hipsters? We were watching television and they disappeared on me.”
Mouse: “Not lately, but they’re cats. They could be anywhere. Did you look on top of the fireplace?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the cat tree?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “Under the armoire?”
Lulu: “Yes.”
Mouse: “In the litter box?”
Lulu: “Why, what have you heard?”
Charlee: “I can’t believe you mistook a skunk for me, Chaplin.”
Producer Smurf: “I can.”
Vermin: “HISSS! So can I.”
Producer Smurf: “So, fellow woodland creature, what smurfs you into the house for a visit?”
Skunk: “I was invited in for cat food. Also, you may. not be aware of this, but it’s not exactly a woodland around these parts.”
Chaplin: “Why are you calling Charlee a ‘woodland creature’? Cats are from the desert.”
Chaplin: “Do you have any snacks I could borrow?”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘borrow’? Snacks are really a one-way kind of item after you eat them.”
Chaplin: “They’re not for me. Charlee and Lulu are mad at me and won’t let me into their Princess Club unless I bring them snacks.”
Mouse: “I see. Well, leaving aside the fact that you are not exactly Princess Club material, yes, I have snacks. I’ve been collecting dried cranberries, stale granola, grains of rice, peanuts, peanut shells—”
Chaplin: “Yuck! That all sounds more like trash than like snacks.”
Mouse: “Well, I am a mouse.”
Yard Turtle: “What’s with the big red banner?”
Lulu: “Well for some reason no one was in favor of getting money from Facebook, and the local health department put the kibosh on my plan to put opn a benefit concert to raise money for balloons. They got an anonymous tip and shut us down.”
Mouse: “I was the one who called the health department. You’re welcome.”
Chaplin: “So did I. That thing is worse than the vacuum cleaner.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I called them too!”
Charlee: “Me too.”
Spicoli: “I tried to call them but I accidentally ordered a bunch of pizzas instead.”
Lulu: “All right, now that we have a quorum, let’s hear arguments for and against, then take a vote to decide if we want to try to get this economic assistance from Facebook so that we can buy new balloons for the turtle.”
Vermin: “HISSS! ‘Quorum’? Since when do we use fancy Latin words around here?”
Mouse: “Vote? You want us to vote? Has this become a democracy instead of you or the cats just going off and doing something crazy?”
Charlee: “I’ve never gone off and done something crazy. I’m the cautious one.”
Chaplin: “I’m contemplating doing something crazy right this second.”
Spicoli: “Yeah, dude, we can tell from your crazy eyes.”
Chaplin: “Look at me! I’m on television!”
Spicoli: “You’re on the television, dude. Not the same thing.”
Lulu: “Let’s all try to settle down and focus. Now, does anyone have any opinions on why we should try to get money from Facebook?”
Lulu: “Isn’t anybody going to say anything?”
Mysterious Intruder: “Facebook is totally trustworthy and you should definitely give them all your information about everything.”
Chaplin: “Get out of my recessed lighting hiding place, Zuckerberg.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Wow, Facebook really does track you everywhere.”
Spicoli: “Now I see two sets of crazy eyes.”
