Merry Christmas (Eve)!
Tag: smurfs
Have You Done Your Market Research?
Chaplin: “I thought they were going to be like normal mealworms, only festive.”
Charlee: “Honestly, a giant mealworm is a little bit … What’s the word I’m looking for … disturbing.”
Mealworm: “I’m standing right here and I can hear you. Ho ho ho! Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
Green Elf #1: “Bigger is better! And we can charge more for each one, so the profits will be huge!”
Lulu: “I think the market for four-foot-long Christmas mealworms is maybe not as big as the market for regular-sized mealworms.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You don’t know that! You haven’t done any studies! We still might sell some!”
Green Elf #2 (sotto voce): “So listen, do you think you could introduce me to Smurfette?”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce): “I’m not supposed to smurf within a hundred apples of her, so, no.”
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Did You Read The Job Description?
Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”
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Meeting Crashers
Charlee: “Do you remember when the mouse asked you if you had hired elves to make Santa hats and boots, and you said no?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Of course I remember! I’m not a goldfish!”
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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas Mealworms
Vermin: “HISSS! So what will make the Christmas mealworms unique and let us charge a premium is that they’ll have a little Santa hat, beard, and boots.”
Spicoli: “Uhh, yeah, dude, that’s not horrifying at all.”
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Well They Laughed At The Man When He Discovered Penicillin
Lulu: “I’m thinking of starting a new business. Do you cats want in on the ground floor?”
Charlee: “A new business? Is this some kind of get-rich-quick scheme like Dennis used to do?”
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The Great Tuna Hunt: Part 4
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty cats, leaving litter in the street!”
Charlee: “It’s not litter, it’s our latest plan to make the giant can of tuna fall down.”
Chaplin: “When it stomps on the sign, it’ll step on the skateboard, the skateboard will roll away, the can of tuna will fall down, Blue will pop it open, and we’ll all eat like kings!”
Spicoli: “Won’t it just squash the skateboard flat, dudes?”
Charlee: “Maybe. But that’s why we piled Legos and a banana peel on the skateboard.”
Chaplin: “Okay, Blue, hit it!”
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The Great Tuna Hunt Part 3
Producer Smurf: “So what is this new scheme you’ve smurfed up here?”
Chaplin: “We’ve attached a couple of rockets to the steel cable. When the can of tuna stomps on the sign, we’ll fire the rockets.”
Charlee: “And then the can of tuna will trip and Blue will pop it open with her claw and we’ll all eat like kings. Hit it, Blue!”
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You Can Tune A Piano, But …
Producer Smurf: “So you’re smurfing it’s not supposed to smurf the case that giant cans of tuna smurf around the countryside stomping things into the ground?”
Mouse: “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Spicoli: “I don’t know, dude, I have trouble even imagining a world like that. What do the cans of tuna do there?”
Mouse: “They sit in the pantry waiting for someone to open them and eat them.”
Spicoli: “Pfft yeah right! Nobody has a pantry that big! Tell us another one, dude.”
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Let’s Do The Time Warp Again, Again
Lulu: “You know, I spent a lot of time in a dog house at the ranch where I used to live, and it didn’t have all these view ports and controls and it was just the same size on the inside as you would expect.”
Blue: “That sounds pretty boring.”
Charlee: “I can’t believe after all this I still haven’t gotten any food. Hey, mouse, could you figure out where that place we were would be now so we can go there and have a look around?”
Mouse: “Are you saying that you want me to calculate where 66 million years of continental drift would have taken your cans of tuna so that you can find the and eat them now?”
Charlee: “Yes, exactly.”
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The Buttered Fly Effect
Lulu: “Wow, it sure is exceptionally roomy in here!”
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Let’s Make A Deal
Chaplin: “Tell you what, we’ll take you to meet the creator of the SmurfCoin in exchange for these cans of tuna in your tackle box.”
Swordfish: “It’s not a tackle box, it’s a—”
Charlee: “Yeah yeah yeah, it’s a hacker’s toolkit, I know. Do we have a deal or what?”
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CSI: The Denouement
Horatio Caine: “… And so, after interviewing everyone here, I’ve been unable to find a viable suspect in the case of the mysterious pile of feathers. Most likely the crime was perpetrated by an outside agent, like a hawk or a jabberwock or a vicious knid. Any questions?”
Spicoli: “I have a question, dude. Where’d you get those shades? You never did tell me.”
Charlee: “How many kinds of knids are there? Are they all vicious or only some of them?”
Horation Cane: “Any questions about the case?“
Spicoli: “No.”
Charlee: “No.”
The Oceanside Animals 