Captain Yosemite Sam: “Listen, cat! Wi-Fi is a precious commodity! If I give out the password, there’ll be less wi-fi for m! And I’m the Captain, so I need all the wi-fi! Understand?”
Chaplin: “Not really. Maybe you could demonstrate it. Say, with a bowl of crackers?”
Lulu: “Are you sure we’re allowed to park right here in front of the door?”
Chaplin: “Sure, see the banner? It’s reserved parking for dogs, cats, hamsters, birds, and fish. We’re cats, you’re a dog, and Blue is a bird. Sort of.”
Blue: “I’m what birds could have been if it weren’t for that giant UFO that crashed into the Yucatan.”
Producer Smurf: “Spicoli, why do you still smurf your sunglasses when you’re sleeping?”
Spicoli: “I think you mean trying to sleep, dude. And I wear them because it’s so bright here.”
Producer Smurf: “But why don’t you go smurf somewhere that’s not so bright?”
Spicoli: “Because then it would be too dark to see with my sunglasses on.”
Producer Smurf: “Oh, of course.”
Chaplin: “So you’re saying I have to watch this entire movie and it will give me the answer to whether it’s ‘Batman’ or ‘The Batman’?”
Ed Nygma: “Correct.”
Chaplin: “What was the point of my showing you all around the house and revealing our secret lair in the basement?”
Ed Nygma: “To make sure you had room to store all the snacks we’ll need to make it through the film.”
Spicoli: “Did I hear someone say ‘snacks’?”
Charlee: “Thanks for getting here so fast, Lulu! This is where Josie and the Pussycats were supposed to perform when they got shot into space.”
Lulu: “Don’t thank me, thank Batman. He drives like a maniac. Come on, Batman, let’s go inside!”
Batman: “Just a minute, Dog Wonder! First I want to use my Batphone to take a selfie with the launch platform in the background.”
Charlee: “Lulu, is your friend there trying to take a selfie using an analog phone handset?”
Lulu: “Yes, he is. It’s best just to nod and go along with him.”
Chaplin: “Thank you for the elevenses, Mr. Baggins. It was delicious.”
Bilbo Baggins: “You’re welcome! Are you sure you got enough to eat? There’s still plenty of food left.”
Chaplin: “I know, but it’s mostly fruit. That stuff will kill you.”
Continue reading “Live Free and Snack Hard”
Bilbo Baggins: “Hello, Spicoli. What can I do for you today?”
Spicoli: “Hey dude! This is my friend Chaplin. He’s on a quest for snacks.”
Chaplin: “Aren’t you a little big for a gopher?”
Continue reading “Snack Quest with a Vengeance”
Chaplin: “What do you mean you don’t have any snacks to spare? There’s a giant pile of them on the glider right next to you.”
Spicoli: “That’s just my morning supply, dude. They’ll be gone by like 10am.”
Continue reading “SnackQuest II: Snack Harder”
Chaplin: “Do you have any snacks I could borrow?”
Mouse: “What do you mean, ‘borrow’? Snacks are really a one-way kind of item after you eat them.”
Chaplin: “They’re not for me. Charlee and Lulu are mad at me and won’t let me into their Princess Club unless I bring them snacks.”
Mouse: “I see. Well, leaving aside the fact that you are not exactly Princess Club material, yes, I have snacks. I’ve been collecting dried cranberries, stale granola, grains of rice, peanuts, peanut shells—”
Chaplin: “Yuck! That all sounds more like trash than like snacks.”
Mouse: “Well, I am a mouse.”
Mogwai Stuffie: “I’ll be right back. They’re serving dinner inside now.”
Producer Smurf: “Can you smurf me back a plate of berries and bark and stuff?”
Mogwai Stuffie: “Sure.” Continue reading “Midnight(ish) Run”
