The Rice Pirates

Having spent the last several hours crawling through filthy ventilation systems with John McClane has finally paid off, as we have reached a vent that will give us access to the main hangar of the Spud Star, where our ship, the Orca, is sits unguarded. Darth Tater has deployed all of his Spudtroopers to the other decks, never considering that we might be planning to steal aboard our vessel and escape; he knows me too well to think I would ever abandon the rest of the crew, who are his prisoners. But he has not reckoned on John McClane, who considers our teammates hippies, and has no compunction about ruthlessly abandoning them to make our getaway. Little do we know that out there in the coldness of space, closer than we could imagine, there lurks a ship carrying men who are more desperate, hungry, and ruthless than John McClane, Tucker, and Darth Tater put together …

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The Trouble with Taters

After our apocalyptic battle with Captain Sweet Tater and the Space Spud, things have begun to return to normal aboard the Enterprise. Everyone still mourns Mr. Spock, but our new crew member Mr. Spud has assumed Spock’s duties and continues to impress everyone with his racquetball prowess. Most of the equipment that was damaged during the fight with the Space Spud has been replaced.

I have begun to dream of being returned to earth soon to resume my duties at the department of archeology, investigating lost civilizations and finding lost kongs. But then, mysterious things begin happening aboard the Enterprise — mysterious, and disturbing.

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