is mrs sister mary williams a nun or wot???

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog wel becuz the doghowse of justiss has ben destroyd by a dinosawr i find myself in need of funds to rebild it or perhaps to go bak into the joorasik and retreev it before the dinosawr steps on it and also of korse now that i hav the gofer broke bak i hav to put together a new ekspedishun to find the undergrownd kingdum of the gofers unfortchoonatly in this tuff ekonomy it is hard to find ventcher kapitol and so i am wunse agin turning to those finanseers hoo hav so offen ayded ontroponoors such as myself yes of korse i am tawking abowt randum peepul frum afrika and the middel eest wot kontakt me owt of the bloo and want to giv me munny lets see what offers i hav wayting for me rite now!!!

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back to the fyootcher

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog wel it luks like this is the end for us dogs as the dinosawrs are closing in so i skratch wun last messadj in the mud before we git stompd or eeten or — hay wot is that???

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letter frum prizzin

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay i dont want ennywun to wurry abowt me wile i am in prizzin it is not so bad i am gitting fud and a bed the only problem is my sellmayt he nevr stops tawking and i think he must be crazy becuz the owtlandish storeez he tellz cudnt possibly be troo unlike my compleetly faktchooal advenchurs

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ANNOUNCEMENT

HELLO SERVANTS THIS IS TROUBLE THE KITTY. IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME FEEL THAT WE HERE AT TROUBLE’S PIG POWD … UMMM, I MEAN, DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS ARE NOT DOING ALL WE CAN TO FIND THE GOFER BROKE AND ITS CREW AFTER THE TRAGIC AND UTTERLY RANDOM ACCIDENT THAT OCCURRED DURING THE COMPLETELY SABOTAGE-FREE LAUNCH OF THE SHIP. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. IN FACT, WE HERE AT TROUB … DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS HAVE PRINTED UP LITERALLY ALMOST A DOZEN FLIERS, WHICH WE ARE ROLLING UP AND STUFFING DOWN GOPHER HOLES THROUGHOUT THE VICINITY OF THE FRONT LAWN OF OUR HEADQUARTERS. WE ARE QUITE SURE THAT THESE FLIERS WILL ENSURE THE SAFE RETURN OF OUR BRAVE CREW.

HERE IS A COPY OF THE FLIER. FEEL FREE TO LOOK AT IT. OF COURSE OUR LAWYERS SAY THAT DUE TO DMCA RESTRICTIONS IT IS ILLEGAL TO DOWNLOAD, PRINT, PHOTOCOPY, OR OTHERWISE REPRODUCE THIS MATERIAL. HOWEVER WE WILL BE HAPPY TO SEND COPIES OF THE FLIER TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO STUFF ONE DOWN A GOPHER HOLE. PLEASE SEND A SELF-ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE AND $100 PER COPY YOU WOULD LIKE (TO COVER PRINTING COSTS) TO MY ATTENTION AT TR … DENNIS’S PIG POWDERS HEADQUARTERS. OUR ADDRESS IS PRINTED ON THE BOTTOM OF EVERY CAN OF PIG POWDER WE SELL SO I’M SURE YOU HAVE IT ALREADY.

PURR PURR PURR.