Having braved various traps and snares, dead ends, attitude-laden bouncers, and water slides, the Goonies and I finally reached the fabled pirate ship deep beneath the Goondocks; but no sooner did we discover the treasure than Ma Fratelli and her gang arrived to make us walk the plank. Not even the massively clawed Creature from the Black Lagoon dares raise a hand against the fearsome Ma, so it looks like we will be getting wet again, while the Fratellis make off with the pirate treasure. Or will they … ?
Having been unable to shake the amphibious creature that has latched onto our group, and having failed to convince it to eat that kid Data who wanted to put me in a cage, we have resolved to simply ignore it and continue trying to find our way to the pirate treasure. Unfortunately, after being plunged into the underground pool, we have become disoriented in the tunnels; but finally we find a shaft leading to the surface, which allows us to get our bearings. And also, perhaps, to get lunch.
Having accidentally messed up the keyboard line from “The Final Countdown”, the Goonies and I have found ourselves unceremoniously dumped onto a waterslide and plunged into a subterranean pool deep beneath the Goondocks. Given that the map promised us certain death if we failed to play the keyboard correctly, this is not such a bad fate … or is it?
Having found what may in fact be the entrance to the network of tunnels leading to pirate treasure, the Goonies and I have embarked on a dangerous journey of discovery and exploration in the fractured ground beneath the Goondocks. I am still skeptical that there is gold to be found here, but at least I have distracted that Data kid from his scheme to put me on display as a talking dog and sell tickets to slack-jawed spectators. Now I just have to find a way to get rid of him …
Having spent an indeterminate amount of time inside the bizarre world of the iPhone, I am not sure how long I’ve been gone from the University. Certainly it was long enough for everyone to depart Bushwood, because all my colleagues are gone and I am unable to find a ride back to campus. But, being a vizsla dog, I relish the opportunity to get a little exercise. Let the walkies begin!