Back Toot The Future

Lulu: “Hey, look, the cats are coming back. I wonder if they have any bottled Tucker toots.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Let’s hope not. I’d hate to be responsible for that.”

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Say Cheese

Charlee: “We’re sorry we blew up your yard with our get-rich-quick scheme.”
Dennis: “Well, it’s not like I haven’t done that myself a few times.”
Trixie: “I guess it’ll keep the squirrels and gophers away for a while …”
Tucker: “And some of us got some delicious sausages out of the deal. *BURP*”
Trouble: “What a revolting display of interspecies harmony.”

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Put a Sausage on the Barbie

Trixie: “So you two cats claim that you live here in the future, and that you grew up with Dennis?”
Chaplin: “Yes, that’s right.”
Trixie: “And you further claim that you traveled back in time in the Doghouse of Justice to collect toots from Tucker because you think you can get rich selling them on the Internet?”
Chaplin: “That’s also right.”
Tucker: “Hmmm …”

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Donnie Thinks Vacuum

Donnie: “All you have to do is toot into the intake. I’ve positioned your jars under the outlet. It’ll be maximal toot transfer with minimal toot tapering.”
Chaplin: “Nobody around here is a big fan of vacuum cleaners.”
Donnie: “Good thing we’re not cleaning anything!”
Tucker: “Vacuum cleaners don’t scare me. I’m ready when you are.”

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Baby You Can Toot My Jar

Tucker: “That was a nice nap, but why are you cats here? And what’s with the empty jars? I prefer jars with food in them.”
Charlee: “Well, in the future, people will buy toots in jars over the Internet. So we came back to the past to collect some.”

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Overheard Around 2009 Or So

Tucker: “Who are you two? How did you get hold of the Doghouse of Justice? Do you work for Trouble the Kitty?”
Chaplin: “No no, we’re from the future! You must be Tucker. You look just like Dennis.”

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The Great Tuna Hunt: Part 4

Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty cats, leaving litter in the street!”
Charlee: “It’s not litter, it’s our latest plan to make the giant can of tuna fall down.”
Chaplin: “When it stomps on the sign, it’ll step on the skateboard, the skateboard will roll away, the can of tuna will fall down, Blue will pop it open, and we’ll all eat like kings!”
Spicoli: “Won’t it just squash the skateboard flat, dudes?”
Charlee: “Maybe. But that’s why we piled Legos and a banana peel on the skateboard.”
Chaplin: “Okay, Blue, hit it!”

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Observed Around the Plateau

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos: “Behind me you can see the latest discovery here on the Nazca plateau: A giant drawing of a cat.”

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Back! To the Future!

Dennis: “I hope the Hipsters are doing all right with those ninja hedgehogs.”
James Bond (1986): “I’m sure there’s no need to worry about your little friends, Dennis. They can obviously take care of themselves.”
Mouse: “I’m not sure if you really believe that or if you just want a martini.”
James Bond (1986): “I’d love a martini. Thanks ever so much.”
Mouse: “If you think I’m offering to get you a martini then you clearly don’t understand the relationship between mice and humans.”

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Shaken Not Stirred


James Bond: “Stand back, my furry little friends. These creatures are dangerous!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “So, Mr. Bond, you thought you could blow up our mealworm vats and not pay the price? Think again.”
Dennis: “I haven’t done anything to your mealworm vats. Lately. And why are you calling me Mr. Bond? The guy in the tuxedo is Mr. Bond. The guy who isn’t Chaplin, I mean.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence, hound! No one is talking to you.”
Chaplin: “Should we pounce on them, Charlee? I think we should pounce on them.”
Charlee: “Yes, we should definitely pounce on them.”
Mouse: “You two do realize the ninja hedgehogs are pointing a cannon at us, right?”
Mr. Nibbles: “It’s too bad Miss Trixie wasn’t born yet in 1986. Miss Trixie always knew how to handle ninja hedgehogs.”

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