Lulu: “… and so please let us apologize once again for the confusion about your stuffies, Mr. Giant Dog, sir.”
Chaplin (whispering): “Don’t forget to ask him about the bacon.”
Java Bean (whispering): “If you want to know about bacon, you come out here and ask him.”
Big Dog: “I can hear you whispering.”
Mouse: “Chaplin, why did you trap the Bean up on the fireplace?”
Chaplin: “I was hoping to get a break from him trying to play with me.”
Java Bean: “I think maybe I’ll just jump …”
Lulu: “Don’t jump! You’re not a cat!”
Lulu: “Okay, we got some chew blocks for Mr. Nibbles and a bag of timothy grass for Spicoli, but they’re out of mealworms. Do you think Vermin would like some crickets instead?”
Chaplin: “She’ll probably complain about having to pick their little legs out of her teeth. But so what?”
Blue: “The little tiny insects you have these days are so cute. We used to have dragonflies with two foot wingspans and millipedes nine feet long.”
Charlee: “Oooh, giant bugs! So much fun to stare at … No, wait, that sounds a little scary, actually.”
Mouse: “Well it’s nice to see you two are back on your usual begging perch together. The CAT scan convinced you, eh, Charlee?”
Charlee: “No.”
Hello friendlies! Lulu here with some new lyrics for you! This is my version of the famous Eurythmics song “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”, which is a good song, but never actually tells you what sweet dreams are made of. An alternate version of the song, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of Cheese)“, gets a lot more specific, and sounds a lot tastier than, you know, people who want to use and abuse you and whatnot. A little dark there, Eurythmics!
Continue reading “Lulu’s Lyrics: Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of Eating Things)”
Mama: “Lulu, did you steal this plastic drain cleaner?”
Lulu: “The what now?”
Lulu: “Why are you wearing a Cone of Shame? Were you biting yourself or something?”
Chaplin: “It’s not a Cone of Shame. Cones of Shame are for dogs. It’s an ice cream cup with cat food smeared on the inside.”
Lulu: “All right, but why are you wearing it on your head?”
Chaplin: “Because I didn’t get all the cat food out of it yet.”
Lulu: “Doesn’t that make it hard to see? Aren’t you afraid you’ll bump into something?”
Chaplin: “No. I don’t need eyes and ears to find my way around. I have other preternatural cat senses.”
Lulu: “Such as?”
Chaplin: “Finely tuned and highly sensitive whiskers, for one.”
Lulu: “You do realize your finely tuned and highly sensitive whiskers are also inside the cup, right?”
Chaplin: “I said FOR ONE.”
Later …
The Oceanside Animals 