Decisions, Decisions

Lulu: “Okay, we got some chew blocks for Mr. Nibbles and a bag of timothy grass for Spicoli, but they’re out of mealworms. Do you think Vermin would like some crickets instead?”
Chaplin: “She’ll probably complain about having to pick their little legs out of her teeth. But so what?”
Blue: “The little tiny insects you have these days are so cute. We used to have dragonflies with two foot wingspans and millipedes nine feet long.”
Charlee: “Oooh, giant bugs! So much fun to stare at … No, wait, that sounds a little scary, actually.”

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Lulu’s Lyrics: Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of Eating Things)

Hello friendlies! Lulu here with some new lyrics for you! This is my version of the famous Eurythmics song “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”, which is a good song, but never actually tells you what sweet dreams are made of. An alternate version of the song, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of Cheese)“, gets a lot more specific, and sounds a lot tastier than, you know, people who want to use and abuse you and whatnot. A little dark there, Eurythmics!

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The Ice Cream Cup Of Shame

Lulu: “Why are you wearing a Cone of Shame? Were you biting yourself or something?”
Chaplin: “It’s not a Cone of Shame. Cones of Shame are for dogs. It’s an ice cream cup with cat food smeared on the inside.”

Lulu: “All right, but why are you wearing it on your head?”
Chaplin: “Because I didn’t get all the cat food out of it yet.”

Lulu: “Doesn’t that make it hard to see? Aren’t you afraid you’ll bump into something?”
Chaplin: “No. I don’t need eyes and ears to find my way around. I have other preternatural cat senses.”
Lulu: “Such as?”
Chaplin: “Finely tuned and highly sensitive whiskers, for one.”

Lulu: “You do realize your finely tuned and highly sensitive whiskers are also inside the cup, right?”
Chaplin: “I said FOR ONE.”

Later …