My Birdyguard

Lulu: “So phase one of your plan is to stack the toupees in a little pyramid?”
Mouse: “Well, that’s just to get them out of Spicoli’s van, since he apparently has urgent business to attend to.”
Spicoli: “That’s right, dude. Time is money, and money is Doritos, therefore time is Doritos.”
Chaplin: “Since when does a lizard hire a giant bird as a bodyguard?”
Lizard: “Since I made a fortune in SmurfCoin, that’s when! Go on, Blue, beat up this mean cat for me!”
Blue: “Okay, but first I’m going to need you to smurf another 0.00230123 SmurfCoin to my SmurfCoin wallet.”
Lizard: “*SIGH* Fine. Cat, can you wait around for the transfer to finish so that Blue over there can beat you up afterwards?”
Chaplin: “Uh, sure, I guess.”

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D-Mobile

Lulu: “I didn’t know you had an RV. How come we never take it on vacation?”
Mouse: “It’s not an RV, it’s a mobile lab. I borrowed it from my contacts in the government.”
Charlee: “You have contacts in the government?”
Mouse: “Of course. I’m from NIMH, remember?”
Lizard: “Help! Help!”

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Overheard Around The Back Yard

Mouse: “Why did you guys want to talk to me out here instead of calling a meeting in the conference room?”
Lulu: “We’re concerned that it may become overrun by replicating toupees. Also, we don’t know how to use the calendar program to reserve time in the conference room.”
Mouse: “Well if you ever attended any of my in-services, then you would learn how to … wait, what was that about toupees?”

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The Unmasked Singer

Batman: “So tell me, have you ever considered adding cat ears to your uniform?”
Uhura: “Captain, we’ve locked onto the target destination for Josie and the Pussycats. Also, requesting permission to smack Batman upside the head.”
Captain Kirk: “Permission granted. Scotty, beam our guests down after Uhura smacks Batman.”

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The Trouble with Taters

After our apocalyptic battle with Captain Sweet Tater and the Space Spud, things have begun to return to normal aboard the Enterprise. Everyone still mourns Mr. Spock, but our new crew member Mr. Spud has assumed Spock’s duties and continues to impress everyone with his racquetball prowess. Most of the equipment that was damaged during the fight with the Space Spud has been replaced.

I have begun to dream of being returned to earth soon to resume my duties at the department of archeology, investigating lost civilizations and finding lost kongs. But then, mysterious things begin happening aboard the Enterprise — mysterious, and disturbing.

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