Having finally reached the app who Yori claims will be able to send me back to the real world, it seems that my journey through the bizarre neon-colored realm of the iPhone is finally at an end. But apparently I must solve some riddles before I will be permitted to pass through whatever API will lead me home. If only the AT&T network was not so weak and congested here, I might be able to use Google to find the answers to the bizarre question posed to me by the mysterious old conehead who lives in a hole in the floor …

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Having been rescued from certain annihilation, TRON, YORI, and I have traveled to the most remote region of the iPhone in which I am trapped. They have promised to take me to someone who can help me escape this electronic prison and return me to the real world, but first, we must traverse an ever-more-bizarre landscape. I have not been in such a strange place since encountering the Goblin King several years ago. I can only hope my app friends know what they’re doing …

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Mistake In Identity

Having narrowly escaped injury when the devious TR0UB13 forced my lightcycle to crash into the wall of the arena, I have now slipped through a gap in the firewall and made my way out into the open space beyond the iPhone sandbox. Unfortunately, TR0UB13 remains on my trail, and I am now being pursued by anti-jailbreaking security forces as well. Not knowing my way around this otherworldly place of neon and art deco architecture, it is only a matter of time before I am caught, unless I can find help. And all the while I can’t escape the feeling that I’m being watched …

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Barking Away

Here within the world of the iPhone, one never knows what to expect. Just moments ago I was abruptly transitioned from the Disc Match of Death to a mad race on light cycles through a grid-patterned course. But even in the iPhone, some things carry over from the real world …

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TROG Legacy

Having evidently been digitized by a bolt of lightning and bodily transferred into the iPhone, I now find myself in the curious position of being a dog in the body of a human — or rather, a computerized rendition of a human. Although this situation interests me from an techno-anthro-canopological standpoint, I do have more pressing concerns at the moment. For instance, in a digital world, where does one find stuffies? Plus there is the small matter of the impending Disc Match of Death …

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After unexpectedly earning the admiration of Ty Webb, I have had the good fortune to see my regular golf match turned into a Frisbee golf match, wherein the disadvantage presented by my lack of thumbs will be neutralized and my mad jumping and mouth-catching skills will come to the fore. I now have every confidence that I will be back in my office before the end of the day, curled up on my egg crate bed with my favorite stuffie while undergrads queue up outside to be regaled by tales of my adventures. Let the game begin!

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