Producer Smurf: “Dennis, we have to smurf something about your poll numbers. They’re smurfbysmal.”
Dennis: “Which line am I on that graph?”
Producer Smurf: “None of them. You’re not on that graph. Nobody knows who the smurf you are. We need to smurf a press conference.”
hello gentle readers. this is the beautiful trixie. i’m afraid i must interrupt the parade of puppy pictorials to let everyone know i am going in for a broken tooth extraction today as well as for an ultrasound to check out my internals. apparently the doctor who recently stole some of my blood ran some tests on it and is a little concerned about my kidneys or my spleen. i guess if those aren’t working up to snuff then she cannot sell my blood for as much on the open market. hmm, perhaps i should sic my new sister on the doctor. drawing blood makes her a vampire, right?
the doctor also says i need to change foods to something with less protein. i may be willing to give up my evanger’s braised beef canned food but nobody had better try to get me to eat a salad.
anyway these procedures are all fairly routine but you know we sixteen-year-old girls can be a bit delicate, so i would appreciate whatever tail wags and purrs might be available. meanwhile, evil perpetrators beware! i may be out of commission for the day, but there’s a new deputy in town, and she’s a little bit crazy.
this is the beautiful trixie, signing off for the day. but rest assured i will be back!