CSI: The Denouement

Horatio Caine: “… And so, after interviewing everyone here, I’ve been unable to find a viable suspect in the case of the mysterious pile of feathers. Most likely the crime was perpetrated by an outside agent, like a hawk or a jabberwock or a vicious knid. Any questions?”
Spicoli: “I have a question, dude. Where’d you get those shades? You never did tell me.”
Charlee: “How many kinds of knids are there? Are they all vicious or only some of them?”
Horation Cane: “Any questions about the case?
Spicoli: “No.”
Charlee: “No.”

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CSI: The Safari Park

Horatio Caine: “So this is where your friend Blue is right now?”
Lulu: “Yes, she posted that she was here visiting relatives.”
Horatio Caine: “Well, it shouldn’t be too hard to find her in the closed confines of an animal park.”

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Outside Investigations

Lulu: “All right, if everyone is through arguing and pointing paws at each other, I need to put together a team to investigate who ate the bird, stipulating that it wasn’t me or one of the cats.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Letting yourself and the nasty cats off the hook up front? I smell a coverup!”

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Whorunit Whodunit?

Lulu: “I found this pile of feathers in the yard. No sign of the bird it came from.”
Vermin: “HISSS! That’s why you dragged us into a meeting? Because of some stupid feathers?”

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Taking A Cut

Lulu: “So you say you’re driving for this new service?”
Spicoli: “Uh-huh. Those Doritos aren’t going to pay for themselves, dude.”
Chaplin: “Do you think we could drive for it too?”
Spicoli: “Well, I don’t know. You might have a little trouble getting your Magic Flying Coaster approved as a delivery vehicle.”
Chaplin: “‘Approved’? You mean the company will tell us what we can drive and what we have to do?”
Spicoli: “Well, yeah, dude, that’s how these things work. They supply the products and take a percentage of what you make.”

Spicoli: “Well, gotta go! Busy schedule! Later, dudes!”

Later …

Chaplin: “I still think we should get in on this delivery thing. Then we can buy snacks too.”
Charlee: “Maybe, but I don’t like the idea of being told what we have to drive and what we have to do and giving up a percentage. We should just do it on our own.”
Chaplin: “That sounds all right, but how will we get the products?”
Lulu: “Oh you guys can leave that to me. I know just where to go.”

Momentarily …

Charlee: “What’s this thing?”
Lulu: “It’s called a ‘green waste container’. Dada dumps grass in it all the time. I guess he has no idea he’s just been throwing money away.”

Odd Jobs

Mr. Nibbles: “Sending Blue to get the mail again? Last time, wasn’t it just a bunch of bills?”
Chaplin: “Yes, but we’re still hoping there’ll be something good one of these days.”
Charlee: “Yeah like maybe one of those foreign bankers will finally send that money they promised to Dennis.”

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Unsolved Fishteries

Ron Burgundy: “So you’re the one who’s been cooking fish in the microwave!”
Charlee: “Well technically I’m just heating it up. It was cooked when we got it.”
Ron Burgundy: “Don’t try those Fox Mulder semantic games with me! Next you’ll be claiming it was aliens in UFOs!”

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Lulu’s Life Tips With Bonus Lyrics: Unwelcome to the Boomtown

Hello friendlies! Lulu here! As you may be aware, last weekend was Independence Day weekend here in the U.S., which means, among other things, that Dada had Monday off, and we all went out for a sniff around the garden center that day while his car was getting its first oil change in almost two years. So that was fun. But unfortunately, one of the “other things” among the “other things” is that there were lots of explosions, snaps, crackles, and pops, both up in the sky and all around the neighborhood. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as a boomtown.

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Let’s Vote On It

Mouse: “All right, so the reason I called this lunch meeting is to discuss what to do about this Blue character.”
Chaplin: “What do you mean?”
Spicoli: “What am I supposed to do with timothy hay?”

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Silly Details

Mouse: “So you’re trying to tell me that this is your Dada’s car?”
Lulu: “Uh-huh.”
Blue: “So you crows, you fly around this area a lot, yeah?”
Crow: “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”

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