On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Somebody I’ll Call Mini-Ni

Mini Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “You’re all going to regret this!”

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On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Cat Engaged In Some Thievery

Ninja Hedgehog Potted Cactus: “Put me down!”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “It’s a nice cactus. The spines aren’t too poky and it talks. I shall put it on a sunny shelf.”
Chaplin: “Unhand my pineapple, you … Wait, what was that about a sunny shelf?”
Charlee: “I can totally jump high enough to get that herring.”

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On The Tenth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Visit To A Corrupt Attorney

Lulu: “Mr. Scrooge, here’s that potted plant that we owe the® Knights who say ‘Ni’ for using their trademarked word ‘the®’.”
Scrooge: “You can’t just barge in here. I’m meeting with other clients. Bah, humbug.”

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On The® Ninth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Potted Cactus For Delivery

Lulu: “All right, so say we get you a potted cactus. What then?”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Then you deliver the® cactus to our attorney’s office. Here is his card.”
Lulu: “I know where Scrooge’s office is. I was there not long ago looking into suing the® cats to get my boxes back from them.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Ooooohhh! An even more hopeless task than challenging the® Knights who say ‘Ni’!”
Ninja Hedgehogs: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”

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On The® Eighth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Quest But Not To Find Shrubbery

Blue: “Why do you all shriek like that every time that kinght says—”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence! Do not say that word!”
Norman #1: “Why do we shriek like that, Norman?”
Norman #2: “I don’t know, Norman. I just do it because everyone else does it.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Now then, I have been keeping track of how many times you have said ‘the®’ and ‘herring®’ and according to the licensing fee scale, you owe us …”
Lulu: “A shrubbery?”

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On The® Seventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Run-In With The® Knights Who Say ‘Ni!’

Lulu: “Wait, so you Knights who say … What was that word again?”
Knight who says ‘Ni’: “Ni!”
Ninja Hedgehogs & Spearmint: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”

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On The Sixth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Trademark That’s Used Improperly

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “You’ve got a lot of nerve, sneaking into the Ninja Hedgehog Underground Lair®.”
Blue: “I wouldn’t say we’re sneaking.”
Lulu: “We’re here to bring the elves—um, I mean, elf—back to the … Wait, did you just actually say ‘®‘ after ‘Underground Lair’?”
Spearmint: “I’m not going back, coppers! The secret of mealworm genetic engineering wants to be free!”

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On The Fifth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Elves Acting Stereotypically

Ninja Hedgehog #1: “Shouldn’t you guys be sitting on a shelf instead of on the ground?”
Cinnamon: “That’s a hurtful stereotype. We can sit anywhere we want to.”
Spearmint: “Why, have you got a shelf?”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Yes, there’s a rock shelf right over there.”

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On The Second Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Some Elves Who I Could Track Down And Eat

Vermin: “HISSS! So I need the two of you to use your noses to track down a couple of runaway elves. They smell like cinnamon and spearmint.”
Blue: “Track them down and eat them?”

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On The First Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Some Elves Who Decided To Flee

Vermin: “HISSS! Well aside from a few elves getting eaten, that meeting went pretty well! Everyone likes the design of the … Hey, where is all the equipment? And the rest of the elves?”
Christmas Mealworm: “Those two elves you put in charge fired all the other elves when they tried to unionize, then they loaded all the equipment into a big truck and drove off with it.”

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Have You Done Your Market Research?

Chaplin: “I thought they were going to be like normal mealworms, only festive.”
Charlee: “Honestly, a giant mealworm is a little bit … What’s the word I’m looking for … disturbing.”
Mealworm: “I’m standing right here and I can hear you. Ho ho ho! Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
Green Elf #1: “Bigger is better! And we can charge more for each one, so the profits will be huge!”
Lulu: “I think the market for four-foot-long Christmas mealworms is maybe not as big as the market for regular-sized mealworms.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You don’t know that! You haven’t done any studies! We still might sell some!”
Green Elf #2 (sotto voce): “So listen, do you think you could introduce me to Smurfette?”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce): “I’m not supposed to smurf within a hundred apples of her, so, no.”

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Did You Read The Job Description?

Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”

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