All’s Weird That Ends Weird

Producer Smurf: “I can’t believe you were the one smurfing all this mischief, Papa Smurf!”
Papa Smurf: “Well you know, it gets boring in the mushroom village sometimes. And I would have smurfed away with it if not for you meddling cats.”
Producer Smurf: “Why did you smurf most of your pranks on me? Is it because you smurf I have the best sense of humor?”
Papa Smurf: “Well not really, no.”
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You Must Ask The Right Questions

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Spicoli: “So what have you been up to lately, dude?”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you smurfing me that question? You smurf what I’ve been up to. You’ve been smurfing around Norway with me.”
Bugs Bunny: “Oh you know, doc, the usual. Humiliating Elmer Fudd, thwarting aliens, getting locked up. You?”
Spicoli: “Snacking.”
Chaplin: “I have a question for you, Troll Wizard.”
Troll Wizard: “Shoot.”

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I Think We All Learned Something Today

Lulu: “Well I think I understand the main difference between trolls and cats now.”
Spicoli: “And what is it, dude?”
Lulu: “People keep cats as pets.”
Pineapple: “Ahhhh! You crazy cat! Stop smurfing on my foliage!” Continue reading “I Think We All Learned Something Today”

Hairy Potter

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Chaplin: “So what is a rutabaga, exactly? And why did you ask to be turned into one?”
Rutabaga: “A rutabaga is a root vegetable similar to a turnip. And I didn’t smurf to be smurfed into one!”
Spicoli: “Okay what about Cheetos? Do you know what Cheetos are?”
Troll Wizard: “They’re large predatory cats that run really fast. Would you like a lifetime supply of them?”
Spicoli: “Those are cheetAHs and that’s a hard pass, dude.”
Lulu: “So you’ve been hanging around nearby ever since we landed, I’m guessing?”
Troll Wizard: “Yes, that is correct.”

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No Deposit No Return

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Producer Smurf: “All right, I am smurfing this tour to an early stop and we are smurfing back home before it goes any more smurfways than it already did.”
Lulu: “Well, if you really want to cancel the tour that’s fine. But I’ll need a refund on my fare.”
Producer Smurf: “No refunds!”
Ragnar: “På tide å finne en annen motetilstand.”*

* “Time to find another fashion emergency to resolve.”

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Overheard Around Roadside America

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Angels & Vizslas

Last week, my colleague Sophie solved the puzzle of the Rubik’s Cube in an ingenious fashion; this led us to a secret hatch in the back room of a Parisian McDonald’s.  As we descend into the darkness beneath the fast food restaurant, one can only wonder what we will find below …

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a skolarly treetis on eevil skwirrel wizzerds

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay reesently my gud frend mango relentlessly huge posted a pikcher of skwirrels engayjds in wot he thawt mite be a nice game of bitey fayse however upon kloser inspekshun and after eksawstiv reesertch i hav confirmd that this in fakt a pikcher of a skwirrel nekromanser in the prosess of mayking an army of zombie skwirrels to do its bidding!!! now i no wot yoo ar thinking yoo ar thinking oh shoor dennis that sownds like another wun of yore paranoyd fantaseez however i hav pruf wot i hav kollekted in the skolarly treetis wot yoo see here!!!

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dadas draggin buk is owt

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay dada has askd me to tell yoo that his draggin buk is owt now at lulu and it shood be at the other buk sites sum time this summer i am not shoor what this buk is abowt but sinse its a draggin buk it is probly the story of a driver at a traktor pull hoo overkums grate odds to win or it mite be abowt dogs hoo hav to pull a sled thru the snow or maybe its abowt sumbuddy hoo cant get owt of bed in the morning hmm i am pretty shoor it is the traktor pull wun tho

hang on it luks like dada is trying to tell me sumthing … uh huh … uh huh … oh its a dragon buk thats sumthing kumpleetly diffrent jeez dada why didnt yoo say that in the furst place onestly i dont no how yoo ekspekt me to do publisity for yoo wen yoo dont giv me the korrekt informashun well ennyway i still think it mite be abowt a traktor pull no matter wot dada sez ok bye